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Author: Tyra Ulfdottir

Understanding the Nazi Slogan “Blood and Soil” or “Blut und Boden”

Understanding the Nazi Slogan “Blood and Soil” or “Blut und Boden”

One of the folks on Facebook didn’t seem to understand the context of “Blut und Boden” which is often the Nazi battle-cry at various gatherings across America. The term, “Blood and Soil,” is a particular extremist term when it comes to nationalism, and of course, racism.

What Do They Mean When They Chant “Blood and Soil?”

Those who chant “Blood and Soil” may simply be idiots who don’t understand what they’re saying.  Or, they may actually agree with the propaganda. Either way, the meaning of “Blut und Boden” appeared sometime around World War I and Hitler based his nationalism on Blood and Soil. What it means is that true Aryan came from the earth and tilled the soil, aka farmers, in Germany.  He tied the Nazis to the land, thus making themselves “rooted” the land. Those who worked the land were infinitely superior to those who did not.  And Hitler pointed to the Jews as the main oppressors of the farmers who worked the land. To add more bullshit on top of bullshit, they furthermore believed that eugenics was the way to create a master race that was free of disease.

via GIPHY

Why Blood and Soil is a Typically Moronic Idea

In the last 15,000 there have been three major migrations across Germany; two of the migrations actually came from the Middle East.  There have been a bunch of “minor” migrations, where, if you were living in that time, probably didn’t seem so minor.  Archaeology combined with genetic research has proven that Germany and other European countries were a melting pot of settlers and invaders from various lands.  Likewise, the Germans went and settled across Europe and Russia.  We know that Germanic tribes such as the Angles and the Saxons went to Britain.  We know the Celtic tribes invaded darn near everywhere, but eventually settled in Spain and Britain.

So, the idea of having one true nationalistic blood is moronic. The idea that someone is pure “Norse” or pure “German” or pure “Aryan” is wrong.  There is no purity.  There is only a hodgepodge of genetics which includes DNA from all over the world.

Lastly, the concept of having the Jews oppress the farm workers seems bizarre.  For one thing, Jews couldn’t own land in Germany, so the misfortune of the farmers occurred because of several factors which included the Treaty of Versailles.

Why Blood and Soil?

Why are Americans chanting “Blood and Soil?”  I mean, Americans.  I’m sort of at a loss to address why these morons chant “Blood and Soil.” That slogan points to the German land.  We know Americans of European descent have no prehistoric ties to North America, so shouting “Blood and Soil” is inherently stupid.  Okay, maybe your ancestors arrived on the Mayflower, which puts your claim around 1620 (and they were English, not German). So, you have about 400 years of history in America?  What about the Native Americans who have more than 10,000 years of history here?

Bad Ideas Heaped Upon Faulty Information

So, the Alt-Right are clearly wrong when it comes to their heritage and their claim to the land.  Nobody is “racially pure.”  Nobody.  We’re all a bunch of mutts.  Deal with it.

That being said, once you hear those idiots spout their ideology, you can smirk and know that they’re not just wrong,  but fucking wrong.

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Asa-Popes and Nazi-Asshats

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Asa-Popes and Nazi-Asshats

I’m tired of writing about Nazis.  I really am.  I keep thinking I should stop, but the numbers don’t lie.
 People want to hear and talk about them.

My case?  Talking about Harvest and the upcoming seasons garnered half of the interest as the Nazi post.  Sigh...READ MORE for just $1

Freedom of Speech Versus Dealing with Nazis

Freedom of Speech Versus Dealing with Nazis

Freedom of Speech versus dealing with the Nazi asshats: 
I have a  moral dilemma.  The situation isn’t cut and dried or black and white.  Like most things in a Heathen’s life, there are many shades of gray.

Let me explain.

Nazis and Antifa

I hate the Nazis.   I really do.  I’m against them 100 percent.  As a writer, I am pro First Amendment.  That means that I am all for freedom of speech. I believe that freedom of speech is necessary for a free society.  So, when the Nazis hold a rally or are met with the Antifa forces, I go into cognitive dissonance.  I really don’t know what to think. 

The First Amendment

As a champion of the First Amendment, I believe that everyone has their right to say or write whatever they want.  (I don’t have to read it or listen to it, mind you.  And I sure don’t have to agree with it.)  Now, obviously freedom of speech has even been limited in America, but for the most part, you can spout the most absurd rhetoric and no one from the Government is going to visit you in the dead of night and drag you from your home (yet). There are, of course, exceptions to this rule.  Threats made against the president, for example. But overall, you can be as stupid as you care to on the Internet, in a paper, or out on the street corner.

Suppression of Freedom of Speech

This brings up Antifa.  I agree that one needs to be anti-fascist. But I think they’re doing it wrong.  Antifa is aimed at suppressing the Nazis’ freedom of speech with violence. They are a leftist group who are also anti-capitalist and socially leftist.  Yes, they are pro-LGBT and anti-racist, but their leftist affiliations makes me wonder what their end game might be.  Suppressing freedom of speech, even from Nazis–and you have NO IDEA how much this pains me to say it–is wrong, if the Nazis leave it to only speech and rhetoric.  When someone eliminates freedom of speech, one eliminates it for all people.

When Do They Whittle Away Our Rights as Heathens?

Think of it this way: yes, we can ban fascist statements, but when does what you believe start disappearing as well because the prevailing view shifts?  Right now, our right to worship our gods are tied to the First Amendment in the United States. That means we have the right to honor Thor, Odin, Freyja, Tyr, and even Loki, if we wish.  We can also choose to worship nothing, worship the Christian god, or worship a snake in a bathtub.  This is a basic right guaranteed by the First Amendment. What’s also guaranteed in the First Amendment is that the government will not prevent you from expressing your beliefs, AKA, the Freedom of Speech.  It doesn’t stop individuals or corporations from trying to stop you from stating your beliefs.  Other laws that deal with physical violence are supposed to prevent that.

While Antifa isn’t the government, I’m truly wondering what their intentions are.  I’m as anti-Nazi as they come, but even I recognize the implications if we don’t uphold the freedom of assembly and freedom of speech, even for Nazi assholes. 

Are the Nazis a Clear Threat Yet?

Obviously the Nazis can’t handle peaceful demonstrations–are we all that surprised?–but the question of whether it’s right to attack Nazis shouting their bullshit is the question I’m going to ask.  I mean, it’s one thing to claim you’re a Nazi, believe their propaganda, and demonstrate; it’s another when you start beating people.

You could claim that every single Nazi gathering has been violent.  I haven’t paid that much attention to the Nazis until recently, but I’d imagine that is probably true. In which case, yes, cancel them on the grounds of violence.  But our Constitution and its Amendments guarantee that they are entitled to their opinions and beliefs, however awful they are.

I’m not sure if they’re a clear threat yet, but they could be. As a Heathen, I recognize violence against evil as being sometimes necessary.  For example, during war or when one is attacked.  But to instigate violence against a violent group seems to just incite them further.  I learned this training animals.  You don’t punish the dog when it does something bad.  You ignore it.  Eventually the behavior stops if you reinforce the behaviors you want. It’s basic training techniques, and one that work exceptionally well, even with human animals.  If we enforce the right behavior, i.e. tolerance, and ignore the bullshit rallies (and have an armed police presence that keeps them in their own little spot where they can’t harm civilians), fewer and fewer people are going to want to join up.

Han Shot First

We all know the argument in Star Wars that Han shot first in the original version.  Lucas edited later editions to have Greedo shoot first and miss.  In the first Star Wars, Han shot Greedo before he could shoot because we all knew what was going to happen if he didn’t.  We cheered over it, because not only Greedo was a debt collector, but he also was an assassin. Han acted in self defense over a clear threat.

I’m not saying that we should shoot first when it comes to Nazis, but there is such a thing as self defense given that someone is armed the same as you (or better) and makes a credible threat.  Still many states don’t recognize this as defense and consider it murder. Also, there’s a matter of showing up ready to fight. Legally, one could, I suppose, say you were there to incite more trouble.  (We Heathens are great at that, by the way.)

So, What Should We Do?

The violence is Charlottesville ended in a death of a woman and the Nazi is being tried for murder and attempted murder. (As he should be.)  I am saddened by the woman’s death and the injuries of people who were protesting these evil people.  I saw the video of the attack and was appalled, because it was apparent the injured and killed people weren’t doing anything violent. That woman should not have died, nor should the people who were protesting peacefully been injured.

Right now, I know that it isn’t in human nature to belittle and ignore Nazi rallies.  It’s in our DNA to want to fight the injustice and insanity.  I can’t tell you what to do, but by giving these Nazi morons someone to fight against, it validates their threat.  Let me ask you one question:  which is more insulting to an aggressor: acting like they’re not worth your time or fighting them on their terms?  Yes, you will get bigger noise, and even more outrageous behavior, because they want to call attention to themselves, but eventually, they’ll find it not worth their while if they aren’t given center stage all the time.

Just a thought.  Your mileage may vary.

Celebrating the Autumnal Equinox, Mabon, or Winter Finding

Celebrating the Autumnal Equinox, Mabon, or Winter Finding

Our next big seasonal date to look forward to is the Autumnal or Autumn Equinox in the northern

hemisphere.  Often called Mabon or Winter Finding by pagans, there are a lot of good reasons to celebrate the season.

Mabon or Autumn(al) Equinox takes its name from a Welsh god, rather than a Norse one, but seeing as many of the Northern gods are interconnected, I’m hesitant to dismiss the name or the celebration outright. A later name for Mabon is Winter Finding to make it more Asatru-like. That being said, our celebration may have “Wiccatru” roots, which if you’re a recon, you may simply disdain the idea of celebrating it and move onto something more “authentic.”  That’s cool, but holidays do shift around, and I suspect late harvest was also celebrated by our ancestors.

Plus, it’s as good of time as any to celebrate the end of the growing season and the arrival of fall.

What the Autumnal Equinox is

The autumn equinox marks the official beginning of autumn.  Never mind that you’ve felt a shift in weather patterns sometime in August or early September, we generally consider the equinox to be the beginning of fall. The equinox, for those curious, isn’t when the day is equally night and day, although it’s damn close and I’d say for all intents and purposes, we can call it that.  What the equinox actually marks is when the sun crosses the celestial equator for the first time since spring equinox.  The celestial equator is an imaginary line above the planet above the actual equator.  The sun doesn’t really move relative to the solar system–our planet moves.  Our planet is tilted so that when it reaches a certain point in its revolution around the sun, the sun dips to the south on the autumn equinox and moves to the north on the vernal or spring equinox. It’s at this point we start really racing toward less light, although the summer solstice marks the high point of the daylight hours and we begin decreasing light after that.

The earth is actually spinning like a top, only relatively slower because of the magnitude.  The pole actually wobbles and will be in a different place about 10000 years from now. 

So, Did Our Ancestors Celebrate Winter Finding?

If you want to be really picky, chances are Winter Finding wasn’t celebrated.  Instead, our ancestors may have celebrated Alfarblót which occurred around October 22nd.  Alfarblót was a more private affair for families, even though it was a harvest festival that honored Freyr and Freyja. Sort of a Thanksgiving for Heathens.

So, if they didn’t celebrate Winter Finding, should we ignore it?  Probably not.  It is, after all, the equinox, which means it’s a good of time as any to have a celebration.  It’s a goodbye to summer and hello to the autumn.  It’s also a good time to bid farewell to the harvest.  I read that it’s a good time to get mead started (yeah, I can see that) in time for Yule.  So, maybe the equinox is a time for a community harvest celebration and Alfarblót for a more private celebration?

Then, What Should We Do with Thanksgiving? 

Thanks to Magickal Graphics

The November Thanksgiving is an American holiday that has its roots in harvest festivals but has been co-opted by Christians to give thanks to their god. I suppose as a Heathen one could get stubborn and decide to not celebrate it since the fields are most likely fallow and the foods have been already put up. But at the same time, hunting season is mostly over, which gives us another bounty–game meat.  I actually delay having Thanksgiving because hunting ends that Sunday after.  Who says we can’t use it to thank Skadi and Ullr for a successful hunt?

It even makes a lot of sense, given that fall turkey puts some birds in the freezer.  So, maybe celebrate it as the end of hunting season and the start of preparing for Yule might be appropriate.

I hope I’ve given some good reasons to celebrate the autumn equinox.  Do you celebrate Mabon, Winter Finding, or the autumnal equinox as a Heathen?  I’d love to hear what you do.

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Harvest Time! Celebrating Your Harvest

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Harvest Time! Celebrating Your Harvest

I’ve been looking up information about harvest celebrations in Viking times, and apparently there were a few worth noting. Lithasblot (Harvest) and Mabon (Harvest End) seem to be the two that are associated with our northern ancestors.  These days were celebrated with feasting,  drinking, and partying, because the food harvested would hopefully get them through the long, dark winter….

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Should We Tear Down Confederate Statues?

Should We Tear Down Confederate Statues?

As usual, the Rational Heathen goes right at controversy head-on.  Which will probably get
someone’s panties in a wad.  My opinions may surprise you.  Furthermore, the reasons for my opinions probably aren’t what you would expect. So, let’s get to the post and see how many hate letters I get, huh?

Nazis and Charlottesville

The Alt-Right, AKA the Nazis, KKK, and white supremacists, are evil.  Period.  If you’ve read any of my posts, this statement comes as no surprise to you.  I abhor that we’ve attracted those elements in Heathenry and I really wish they would go back to their Christian roots and have those people deal with them (instead of us).  My dad helped liberate Jews right after WWII — he saw the concentration camps. I don’t mince words about what I think about Nazis.  They are horrendous.

Charlottesville was a terrible tragedy because three people died, including one civilian who was protesting the evil when an Alt-Right drove his car into a crowd of protesters.  The other two were police officers whose helicopter crashed. Nineteen people were injured when that car ran through the crowd.  The sad part is that none of this should have happened. All this was allegedly over a damn statue.  A hunk of metal.

Over a Damn Statue

Of course, it wasn’t just the statue that people were protesting. It’s the ideology behind what the statue is. Robert E. Lee was a famous southern general, which makes his statue a natural lightning rod for those who want to make him the poster boy for the Alt-Right bigots. (As an aside, Lee wasn’t pro-slavery, but he wasn’t outspoken against it.  He turned down serving in the Union against the South because of his loyalty to Virginia. I think he would probably be horrified over his legacy as an Alt-Right poster boy. Furthermore, he was against Civil War statues.)  The statue in question is still to be removed, just as there have been other statues removed. The descendants of  Lee, Davis, and Jackson have already said they want them removed.

Oddly enough, I don’t think removing the statues are a good idea.  Let me explain…

The Problem with Removing the Statues

It seems like a great idea to remove signs of hatred from public viewing.  The problem is that you don’t get at the root cause of the problem: the hatred, itself.  Instead, you remove a piece of history that could be used as an object lesson for those generations that follow.  It’s rather Soviet-esque to remove the existence of statues because you don’t like the person or ideology it represented. After all, if no one talks about it openly, surely it goes away, doesn’t it? (That was sarcasm, for those who don’t get it.)  That really worked for the Balkan states (sarcasm, again).  When the threat of the Soviet fist was lifted, fighting resumed.  Gee, I guess that’s one for the USSR, huh?  Never mind all the oppression there. (Sarcasm, folks)

Imagine, if you would, that everything anyone found offensive were to be removed. We would have few historical monuments.  People, both past and present, are incredibly flawed.  What would happen if Auschwitz and all the other concentration camps were destroyed instead of preserved?  We already have holocaust deniers–how many more would we have? What about Nazi buildings?  What about the Custard memorial at Little Big Horn?  What about the Battle of Culloden?   What about the Trail of Tears?  What about Columbus?  Should we remove those statues and memorials because they’re incredibly painful to someone?

Most of the founding fathers of our country owned slaves. Our Viking ancestors owned slaves.  Europeans owned slaves. Africans owned slaves. It has been a blight on humanity since the beginning of agriculture–and possibly before. Do we censor Mark Twain because he used the N-word (when he was incredibly anti-racist)?  Do we tear down those things that symbolize slavery?  Just because we remove something, doesn’t mean it no longer existed, or exists now.

I believe they need to be there.  Not as a place for the Alt-Right to congregate, but one that we can use as a way to educate people as to the atrocities of the past.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. — George Santayana

Where the Problem Lies

The problem isn’t the statues.  They’re chunks of metal and stone. The problem is the underlying hatred and bigotry that exists.  Destroying monuments won’t eliminate the issue–in fact, as we’ve seen in Charlottesville, it actually adds fuel to the fire.  The problem is the way that our society treats minorities to this day.  Somehow because of genetic variations, some people are convinced that they’re better or superior to those without those variations. Those in the Alt-Right are convinced that they’re “pure,” when in fact, they just aren’t.  Genetics do not lie.  History and archaeology has further demonstrated that there have been incursions into Europe since humans first arrived. Our ancient ancestors didn’t care about “racial purity” — they only cared about whether or not the invaders were going to kill them.  And the invaders were more into acquisition of wealth: land, gold, food, and slaves.

Somehow, as a society we’ve become fucked up to the point where statues mean more than human beings.  (And Christians accuse Heathens of idolatry?) I believe we’re at a turning point in history where we can either stand up for the equality of all humans regardless of their ethnicity or skin color, or we can let the thugs take over.  I do not advocate violence while there is still some shred of the rule of law.  Right now we need to work on fixing the inequity and protecting our fellow human beings,  Because, we’re all in this together now.

 

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Writing About American Runestones is Interesting

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Writing About American Runestones is Interesting

I had been meaning to do some research about runestones in America for a while, but just hadn’t the time or inclination to spend the time on chasing down the information. So, when I got around to actually working on the post, I had no idea that I was turning over a rock that would have a bunch of dark, scurrying critters underneath.

 Oh. My. Gods.  When you start researching American runestones, you really descend into the realm of the crazies, so it’s hard to  actually take the whole thing seriously when self-proclaimed experts claim that these stones were created by Templars, freemasons, Illuminati, or  ancient Egyptians.  I’m facepalming so much that I probably have bruises.  READ MORE FOR JUST $1…

I Saw Odin in a Crepe

I Saw Odin in a Crepe

There are days when you shouldn’t let me cook.  Those days are the days when I get silly titles for this blog, which is why you get the title: “I Saw Odin in a Crepe.”

The title occurred to me while I was thinking about how many folks seem to think because they see a raven, they’re being watch by Odin, or they see Thor or Mjolnir in the clouds, or they’re convinced that they hear wights whispering in the trees.  Now, I’m willing to put aside my disbelief for some things, but many things do have scientific explanations.

Jesus on a Grill Cheese Sandwich, or Pareidolia

By Viking 1, NASA [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

I’m sure you’ve read stories about someone seeing Jesus on a grill cheese sandwich, or Mary on a tortilla.  Maybe you’ve see how people are convinced they see they see a rat or a tomb or Gandhi on the surface of Mars. When people think they see a face on an inanimate object, the term is called pareidolia.  If you see a pattern in something that is more or less random, the term is called apophenia.

Both pareidolia and apophenia are normal human psychological behaviors. In other words, if you experience it, you’re normal. There have been several theories as to why this occurs.  Carl Sagan actually suggested that it was an evolutionary development so people could recognize whether someone was a friend at a distance or an enemy. Most likely we’ve evolved to recognize faces because we’re social animals.  We’ve evolved to look for our parents’ faces and to recognize them once they’ve been established as our caregivers.  That way, when we see other people, who may or may not be friendly, we can differentiate between parents and others.

So, when you see Thor’s shape in the clouds, a cloud that looks like Mjolnir, or Odin in a crepe, you’re dealing with pareidolia.  It doesn’t mean you’re gullible or stupid.  It actually means you have a well-connected brain and you can see patterns that some other folks don’t.

Apophenia, or Trying to See a Pattern in a Random Data Set

Like pareidolia, apophenia is trick that humans evolved so that we could actually see a pattern in things and make assumptions as to what might happen next. The problem with apophenia is that we see patterns where none really exist. It’s a mode of superstitious behavior that we exhibit when we do something and something completely unrelated to it happens.  For example, you see a raven and think of Odin, and the next thing that happens is you find a $10 bill on the ground.  One might say that Odin sent the raven as a good luck omen.  Next time you notice a raven, you miss getting hit by a car.  Now, you’re sure that it is Odin.

But wait a second.  Aren’t ravens fairly commonplace?  How many times have you seen a raven and nothing happened?  (Why would you remember it, since nothing happened?)  My point is that the randomness of seeing a raven and having good things occur is that: simply random.

Now, if the raven were to come over to you and start a conversation, this would change from pareidolia to either you’ve got some good hallucinations going (stay off the acid), or one of Odin’s birds have shown up to chat.

It’s Not Just Visual, Either

Man in the moon?

Apophenia and pareidolia aren’t just linked to our sight.  We can think we hear people talking when we’re hearing white noise or strange sounds.  It’s pretty common, actually.  You’ve heard the term, “babbling brook?”  Well, it’s easy to think you’ve heard voices listening to a brook.  Sometimes, I swear I hear a radio or a song when the fans are on at my house, when it is just the noise from the fans.

Our brains are trying to make sense out of a random noise, so we start “hearing” a pattern in the noise, even though we don’t.

Where am I Going with This?

You may wonder at some point why I’m bringing all this up.  The first reason is fairly simple.  I get tired of people announcing that this god or that goddess has shown their favor because they saw something that is most likely pareidolia.  Or maybe you looked in the mirror at night and thought you saw your fylgia looking back at you (again, pareidolia). If it’s dark and we see something, our minds are quick to fill in the image we saw.

The second reason is to educate you on how your mind works, so you don’t mistake simple tricks of your mind as being “magic.”  That way, should you really have contact with gods or wights, you know it’s not just a simple trick of your mind.

Vikings in Oklahoma, and Other Oddities

Vikings in Oklahoma, and Other Oddities

Several years ago a friend of mine told me about a runestone found in Oklahoma.  I laughed.  No, he insisted, it really did exist.  So like most skeptics I ignored it as another Piltdown man hoax.  But I never forgot his insistence that Vikings may have traveled to Oklahoma, among other places.  So when I stumbled across a listing of purported Viking runes and artifacts, I couldn’t help but think it would make an interesting post at some point.  Well, my eager readers, today is the day.

Where We Know the Vikings Did Show Up 

Few archaeologists will argue that Vikings didn’t land in North America, and set up colonies, but few would actually claim that they headed farther south than the runestones seem to suggest.  We know that there was a Viking settlement at L’Anse aux Meadows, and recently there has been another discovery at Point Rosee, some 370 miles away from the first confirmed site.  

How Tough Would It Have Been for Vikings to Travel Inland?

If Point Rosee is a Viking settlement site (jury is still out on it, but I suspect it probably is), how tough would it have been for the Vikings to head a bit more south? I’m hesitant to say that it’d be easy, because it certainly would not have been. But the Vikings were masters at travel, and if anyone could’ve navigated uncharted territory, it would have been them.  But North America is sizable, and it would take extraordinary people to accomplish this, even among Vikings.  Still, people with no more than their feet have traveled across North America in prehistoric times.

Let’s Get to the “Evidence,” Shall We? 

I placed the word “evidence” in quotes because, quite honestly, it’s hard to establish these as real and not elaborate hoaxes.  In many cases, science has dismissed certain “Norse artifacts” when data proves that they are anything but.   So let’s look at three pieces of allegedly Viking artifacts.

The Newport Tower in Rhode Island

If I could point to one thing that is sketchy when it comes to Norse artifacts, it would be the Newport Tower in Rhode Island. Proponents claim that Norse built it somewhere between the 11th century and the 14th century.  Most scholars consider it a windmill and not a tower built by the Norse (when did the Vikings ever have this type of architecture anyway?)  This was originally proposed by Danish archaeologist Carl Christian Rafn in 1837.
Others have expanded on the theory, but carbon dating places its age at the mid-17th century.  Still, there are those who purport that it is some antiquated tower and not a windmill (most experts believe it is a windmill), saying that it was built in the 15th century, underwent a fire, and then was rebuilt in the 17th century.

Despite the various arguments, I’m going to have to go with the establishment and call this one as a windmill and not a special tower.  Certainly nothing that the Vikings would ever construct.

The Kensington Runestone

The Kensington Runestone is a more interesting find.  There’s some debate about it, but the general consensus is that it’s a hoax. However, there are some interesting points to be made why it might be authentic.

The runestone was purportedly “found” by Olof Ohman, a Swedish immigrant who lived near Kensingon, Minnesota. He was digging up the roots of a poplar (or aspen, depending on what account you read) on his farm, and allegedly found it with the roots growing around it. It’s 3 feet long, 16 inches wide, and 6 inches deep.

Now, being the suspicious type, reading about a Swedish person uncovering runes seems a little odd to begin with. The red flags went up with that one.  Anyway for those interested, the runes translate as follows:

“Eight Geats and twenty-two Norwegians on an exploration journey from Vinland to the west. We had camp by two skerries one day’s journey north from this stone. We were [out] to fish one day. After we came home [we] found ten men red of blood and dead. AVM (Ave Virgo Maria) save [us] from evil.”
“[We] have ten men by the sea to look after our ships, fourteen days’ travel from this island. [In the] year 1362.”  — Source, Wikipedia.

Now, this sounds really cool, doesn’t it? There was a group of Norse explorers led by Paul Knutsson sent by King Magnus Eriksson of Sweden and Norway into the west. But there aren’t any records whether they truly embarked on their mission.  If they did go, they never returned.  So, it’s a possible link.

Swedish linguists pronounced the piece as a fake due to wording that did not exist in the Swedish lexicon until the 16th century.  The runes, too, seem to be a mix of old and newer runes that would not have been used in the 14th century.  That being said, other linguists have challenged that, saying that the usage could be a variation due to regional dialects.  Still, many linguists do claim that this stone is most likely a hoax by Ohman and others who live in Kensington.

What do I think?  I think it is most likely a fake, especially when other definite hoax runestones were found in the area.  From my own experience, aspen trees only live about 15-20 years and those poplars near where the stone was found were no more than 40 years old.  The Swedish written on the stone was closer to 19th century than 14th century, thus making it most likely a hoax.  Still, if it’s real, it’s a cool piece.  By the way, it has its own museum in Alexandria, Minnesota, so you can check it out.

The Heavener Runestone

The last piece of alleged “Viking artifacts” I’ll be talking about comes from Oklahoma, where, oddly, there are quite a number of found runestones, most considered to be fakes due to the lack of weathering on them. That being said, the Heavener Runestone is the most famous of the lot.  Made famous by Gloria Farley in the 1950s, the rock had been called “Indian Rock” for more than 100 years because people believed that it had been carved by Native Americans. The runestone is 12 feet tall, 10 feet wide, and 16 inches thick.   It is now a state park, and whether it is really a runestone from Viking explorers or not, it is at least preserved for all to see in a building that was built around it.  Scholars have argued over the translation of either “Gnome dal” or “Glome dal,” meaning either “sundial” or “Glome’s Valley,” depending on which translation you choose. It is thought it may be a boundary marker and may be as old as the 7th century.  

The problem with the Heavener Runestone is that it is just one piece of evidence that doesn’t seem to have any other archaeological evidence to back it up. We don’t know what the carver meant when he or she chiseled the runes into the rock and we don’t have any written account of there being Vikings in this land. Also, we don’t have any other finds that would suggest that the Vikings rowed their ships down the Arkansas River to carve this stone, other than the stones that experts consider to be carved sometime in the 19th or 20th centuries.

A Lewis and Clark Comparison (Stay with me on this)

All that being said, I’d like to compare this to a 19th expedition that did happen, that is the Lewis and Clark Expedition of 1804 to 1806.  We know it happened because of all the written records.  Plus, while there is no one alive who remembers that expedition, there were people who knew about, talked about it to others, and wrote about it.  Despite all that we know about the expedition, the only archaeological evidence of the expedition was at a place called Traveler’s Rest in Lolo, Montana

Suppose for a moment that nothing was written down about the expedition.  That there was pretty much no documentation. Then the only evidence that Thomas Jefferson sent men out to explore the Louisiana Purchase would’ve been the archaeological evidence at Traveler’s Rest. Assuming the US boundaries of the time, would we assume that people traveling from the states somehow ended up in Montana without any other evidence?  We might say “Possible but not probable.” 

So What Does the Rational Heathen Think?

 It’s an interesting intellectual exercise.  After all, if we haven’t uncovered evidence from two centuries ago, it’s unlikely we would uncover much from Viking visitors from 1000 years or more ago, given the long distances and the mode of travel. But at the same time, the Heavener Stone doesn’t seem to have many experts on its side accepting that it could be legitimate. In 2015, a Nordic linguist from Uppsala University visited the Heavener Stone and said that it was most likely a 19th century creation, but gave a 20 percent chance that it might be from the 10th or 11th centuries. However, there were many issues with the stone, including lack of ornamentation, problems with it linguistically, and the little issue of a problem with the timeline.

If there were any artifacts that had a chance of being authentic, I’d say it is probably the Heavener, but I think it is more likely to be something written in the modern era. Still, as I said, it’s interesting to think about and it is certainly something worth considering.

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When the Muse is a Bitch, or Why You Really Didn’t Want to Live in the Viking Age: Dentistry

When the Muse is a Bitch, or Why You Really Didn’t Want to Live in the Viking Age: Dentistry

Well, the piece on Viking lifespans got me looking at all sorts of interesting stuff. One interesting paper was about the teeth of Viking Age Icelanders.  The researcher made some conclusions that I’d love to share and give my overall impression on it… [READ MORE FOR JUST $1]

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