choosing a god Archives — The Rational Heathen

Being Chosen by a God or Goddess

December 28, 2017 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 10 comments

Happy Yule Folks! I hope you’re having a wonderful Yule season.

I’ve talked about being bitch-slapped by the gods and being chosen. Apparently there are a couple of posts that talk about toxic relationships with deities and how one shouldn’t call it chosen, but called.

Semantics.

So, let’s talk about what I think is happening, as one who got a rather loud and sudden cho…ahem, calling.

My Own Experience (tl;dr: If you know the story, skip to the next section)

I was a deist/agnostic going on atheist. I am a skeptic, which made the following story a bit hard to deal with. I had rune sets before I became Heathen (long story, that), have had dreams that have come true, and have an unnatural power with animals. (My husband swears that 500 years ago I would’ve been burned at the stake.)

So, one night several years ago I was casting runes (okay, yeah, it seems odd that an agnostic would do this) and after getting an answer, asked who was telling me this. The first rune I pulled out was Tyr’s: ᛏ. Then, I pulled out three more. They spelled: ᚦᛟᚱ.

I was stunned. I knew all about the Norse gods and goddesses from my study of the myths and legends, but have not one, but two talk to me? Seriously? That night I did some soul searching. Was this a joke? Did I read into something that didn’t really happen? I felt confused. Then, I started hearing Tyr in my mediations and dreams. Boy, howdy, did that confuse me even more. Eventually I turned to other Heathens who were able to help me sort it out.

When You Don’t Pick Up the Phone When a God Calls You

My experience with the gods wasn’t something that I was particularly looking for. (Although someone might successfully argue why I was asking who was sending me messages, let alone playing with runes.) I now recognize that I received “callings” in the past, but I was too clueless to recognize them. And even if I had, at certain parts of my life when I was younger I was a serious Roman Catholic.

When a god or goddess really wants you, calling just might not be enough. Humans are notoriously dense sometimes and sometimes it takes one grabbing the person by the scruff of the neck, picking him or her up, and shouting “look at me!” If you’ve had that experience, after you’ve changed your pants, you know the god or goddess has chosen you. You’ve maybe received “calls,” but apparently you’ve never made the connection.

Abusive, or Something Else?

Those of us who do have gods who have laid claim to them can probably attest to the suddenness of the encounter. In some cases, the gods are bullies and should be avoided at all costs, but in many cases, that isn’t the situation at all. It’s not that the god or goddess is abusive or bullying, it’s just that they haven’t gotten that person’s attention, for whatever reason, aka cluelessness. So, being deities, they do things in big ways when the small ways don’t work.

That being said, I never advocate entering a relationship with a god or goddess until you understand what they want from you and figure out how they’re going to treat you. I set ground rules with Tyr from the get-go and he was fine with them. I understand that it reduces my contact with him, but at the same time, it is a safe relationship.

Ground Rules for Dealing with Relationships with Deities (and

Anything Else)

Never enter into a relationship with an abusive being (deity, human, or supernatural)
If a deity tells you to do something against your morals, something that harms you or other people, or something that puts you or others in peril, don’t do it and break off communication.
If a deity tells you to do something against the law, don’t do it and break off communication.
If the deity hurts you physically, spiritually, or emotionally, get out of that relationship.
If a deity bullies you, get out of the relationship.
Set ground rules immediately. Don’t get yourself lost in a relationship with a god/goddess.

Obviously there might be exceptions, but these are good guidelines. For one thing, you might not be talking to a deity but may be dealing with a mental illness. In this case, seek psychiatric help. Even if the deity lays claim to you, you can refuse the claim and get out. Sometimes seeking another, more benevolent deity who is willing to intercede on your behalf will protect you.

My point to all this is that just because a deity chooses you, it doesn’t necessarily make it a toxic relationship. What I’ve found is that quite often being chosen is simply a way for the god or goddess to make themselves known. You have to choose back, too.

For years I didn’t understand/trust Skadi. I knew her as a dangerous goddess. But I didn’t understand that for as dangerous as she is, she is also kind in her own way. We have a bond that goes back decades (gods, I just admitted I’m old) but it took work to establish a — dare I say it? — friendship. Tyr and I are closer because of my very nature, but Skadi is becoming a goddess I speak to more and more.

I hope this helps anyone chosen by a god or goddess. Let me know about your own encounters.

Choosing a God or Goddess from the Northern Pantheons

July 17, 2017 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 14 comments

If you’re new to Heathenry (or even if you aren’t), maybe you’re wondering which gods and/or goddesses are your main go-to deities, or (dare I say it?) patron deities. I’ve been reading some blogs about this and I figured, as the Rational Heathen, I’d weigh in on the subject. As usual, your mileage may vary (YMMV) and any advice I give may not fit your circumstance.

But I Already Have a God/Goddess!

If you’re a newly arrived Heathen, chances are you’ve chosen one of the more media-prominent gods/goddesses such as Odin, Thor, Loki, or Freyja. That’s all well and good, but they aren’t the only ones out there, and they may not fit you. Also, they’re not a “I’m substituting Odin for the Christian god”-type of gods. Odin isn’t the only creator-god, nor is he entirely benevolent. All the gods have their dark sides, just like human beings. But they also have their good sides, which can be wondrous and amazing when you are on the receiving end.

If you’re a Heathen with some years in Heathenry, you may have found a god/goddess that you like, but maybe are looking for more than one go-to god, or maybe you just don’t feel the fit is right. After all, there’s a reason why we’re polytheistic, and not monotheistic, right? All of these are good reasons to explore the pantheon and see if there is another god or goddess whom we can add to our altars.

My Own Experience

Long time readers will know that I didn’t choose becoming a Heathen. Rather, I got pulled in by Tyr and Thor. While Tyr is my main god, I have several gods and goddesses I show respect to including Thor, Freyr, Freyja, Skadi, Odin, Zisa, and, oddly enough, Loki. But they didn’t just show up all at once and talk to me. No. As a matter of fact, some, like Skadi, were very cool to me (pun intended). Skadi and I did have a bit of an introductory period. I had known her years before I became a Heathen, but it is my experience that she doesn’t always come knocking on your door the way other gods and goddesses may do. Freyr did not approach me, either. I simply opened myself to him. So, I do have some experience choosing new gods and goddesses.

How Should I Discover a New God/Goddess?

Unless your experience is similar to mine, you’ll probably be charting your own course, so to speak. Finding a new god/goddess may be difficult if you don’t have a god grab you by the scruff of the neck and shout, “You’re Mine!” (This can be a really disconcerting time in your life, if this does happen.) If you’re looking for a deity, you should first do your homework and find out what you can about each god. Learn what you can from the myths and Eddas. Does any one appeal to you in some fashion?

The downside to research is that we don’t know as much about certain gods and goddesses within our pantheon. Yes, we know quite a bit about the main players, but there’s a lot of guess-and-by-golly when it comes to less-known gods. Also note that there are some gods who cross over ethnic groups and have different names, but are essentially the same god. Thor comes to mind. He’s Thorr in Norse culture, Thunor in Anglo-Saxon culture, and Donar in German culture. But he’s also Perun in Slavic culture, Perkunas in Baltic culture, and Perendi in Albanian culture. If you’re culturally close to those who worshiped the northern gods, you may want to see if there are gods within your ancestors’ cultures that fit, or seem to resonate with you.

Mediation is immensely helpful in this search. You may hear one or more god or goddess as you practice mindfulness meditation. In this case, feel free to explore the communication. You don’t have to choose the god who shows up, but chances are there’s a reason they choose to talk with you while you were receptive. Be cautious, too, during mediation. You’re receptive to more than just the gods. Avoid those that give you bad feelings or harmful requests. Believe it or not, there are spirits that do take delight on waylaying people.

You’ll have to choose by what feels right. This isn’t a particularly rational suggestion, but religion is seldom rational in nature. In the end, you must trust you gut-feelings and maybe you’ll get rewarded for your efforts with a UPG or maybe even some communication.

Avoid Popular and Simple Explanations for Deities

I hate to be the party-pooper on this, but the gods aren’t the Marvel heroes. If you’ve been drawn to Heathenism because of the Marvel tropes, that’s okay, but don’t expect Thor, Loki, and Odin to be much like the comic characters. These are gods who have many dimensions to their personalities, and although we have limited writings about them–many of them colored by Christianity–enough of us have had UPGs to the point where we’ve seen other aspects of the gods.

For example, Freyja isn’t just the goddess of war and sex, (although she is that, too). She has a very complex role as a goddess. She takes half the fallen before Odin, thus probably taking the best warriors. She is a strong goddess who fights, but is still very feminine. She is the goddess of the Seidr, and may be linked to Frigga as the wife of Odin. She is certainly the most powerful of the goddesses. Your dealings with her may bring certain insights into her personality that you would never find in popular culture.

What About Other Pantheons?

Should you mix and match gods and goddesses from other unrelated pantheons? What if Freyja and Bast appeal to you? What if you worship Jupiter, Heimdall, and Wu Xi? What if you have altars to Christ and Odin?

Seriously?

Some Heathens will call you out on this as being Wiccan and not Heathen. They may even give you the sarcastic name of “Wiccatru” for your efforts. Even I am a little taken aback by the mixes. (It’s really not the same as mixing some Eurasian religions with our Norse gods because they’re alike in a lot of ways.) I’m somewhat hesitant to say “yes, you can,” because I don’t have a warm feeling about mixing very different religions. That being said, if you truly feel the calling between two different gods from two different pantheons, who in the Hel am I to tell you what you should do?

However, some religions by their very nature aren’t up to the task of “Mix-N-Match” gods. Our gods couldn’t care any less who or what you worship, but the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim god isn’t keen on other gods in the playbook. Something about “Thou shall not have other gods before me…” springs to mind here. While I don’t believe in that god, I do believe that the followers would have something to say about it. And seeing as the words are in their holy text to not worship any other gods, it seems disingenuous to worship a Judaeo-Christian god and a Norse god. But again, that’s your business.

I hope I’ve given you some ideas about the gods and how to start your journey into finding a god or goddess you have a special connection with.

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