Happy Zombie Jesus Day

April 18, 2022 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

I had forgotten it was Easter last week until my spouse told me they were off work Sunday for the holiday. So, I knew I had to write something about the stupid thing because Christianity still has a stronghold in the United States. Even though nearly one third claim they don’t belong to a religion.

Zombie Jesus Day

I was debating whether to call up my siblings and wish them a happy Zombie Jesus Day, but I figured it wouldn’t go over that well. And one of my siblings still hasn’t sent my Yule…er, Christmas…presents yet from last year. So, I spent the day working and my spouse hunted bear, which was all okay, because neither of us care about such silly things as Easter.

Eostre Posts

I’ve written about Easter and Eostre over the years, so you’re welcome to read the following pieces:

Eostre and Spring: Is Easter a Christian Holiday?

Four Ways to Make Easter Not Suck

How Heathens Can Celebrate Easter with Christians

Eostre: Was Easter Appropriated?

5 Great Things Heathens Can Do to Celebrate Eostre Anytime (And while under Quarantine)

Hail the Goddesses and Gods of Spring

They’re fun pieces, and you’re sure to find something to celebrate the Month of Eostre/Ostera in it. Sure, the Christians have one Sunday in March or April*, we’ve got an entire month! (April is the Month of Eostre.)

Did you forget it was Easter on Sunday, too? If there’s good news, Easter candy will be half off on Monday! Woo Hoo!

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*Unless you want to call Holy Week theirs too, but it’s full of depressing images.

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5 Great Things Heathens Can Do to Celebrate Eostre Anytime (and While Under Quarantine)

April 9, 2020 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Okay, by now you’re all probably sick and tired of the quarantines and stay-at-home directives. It’s no big thing for me because I’m a writer, and more importantly, an introvert. (Gosh, a writer with a scientific degree? An introvert? Unheard of!) Anyhow, while the Christians are bemoaning they can’t go to mass for Easter, we Heathens can still celebrate the month of Eostre. Even if you’re the sole Heathen among people of other faiths in your household, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy yourself during this time. Here are five ways you can celebrate the Feast of Eostre (whether or not you believe she is a goddess):

1. Dye Eostre Eggs with Your Own Natural Dyes

This one takes a little bit of work and some ingredients, but the colors are spectacular and there’s no reason why you shouldn’t try it at least once. Most of the ingredients are probably already in your refrigerator or pantry. Here are some links to recipes for dyeing your eggs with natural ingredients that are completely safe (unless you have an allergy to particular food ingredients):

Kitchn has some eggcellent recipes for dyeing your eggs colors such as blue, pink, lavender, yellow, and orange. They tell you what your eggs will look like if you use white eggs or brown eggs. (Hint: use both and have a host of cool colors!)
Good Housekeeping has similar recipes, but includes a way to make your eggs dark blue. I like their suggestions.

Dyeing eggs with your own colors is more fun than using tablets out of a package. And you’ll probably like the results better.

2. Eostre Egg Hunts for the Kids (and Pets)

This one doesn’t have to be for kids only, but if you’re alone or staying home with your significant other and no one else, this isn’t probably as fun as it could be. Naturally if you have a yard, hiding eggs becomes easier, but you can also hide eggs in a specific room. If you hide eggs inside, be sure to have an egg count, otherwise you may be in for a nasty surprise (and smell) in a couple of weeks. And while you’re at it, if you have a pet, you might want to hide some treats for them and show them the first few treats, so they might get the idea of searching for treats. Dogs can usually figure this out, but I’m not discounting cats.

3. Have a Feast in Honor of the Gods and Goddesses of Spring

Whether or not you believe that Eostre was the Anglo Saxon goddess (or Ostara, a Germanic goddess) of spring and fertility, we can always hold a feast in honor of the gods and goddesses of spring. Roast a pig or ham in honor of Freyr, and dedicate the feast in honor of him, Freyja, Thor, Gerdr, Sif, and Idunn, among any other gods and goddesses you’d like to include. Even if you’re a solitary Heathen, you can make yourself some pork and make an offering or blot to the gods.

4. Get Your Garden Planted

Whether you live on a farm, in the suburbs, or in the city, you can have your own garden, even if it is only a container garden. In most parts of America, it’s warm enough to start seedlings outdoors, and for those of us who live in the colder climates, we can start them indoors. Not sure what to plant? Start with herbs. Most are easy enough to grow, and you can dry them and use them in a number of recipes and in rituals. Container gardens are great for apartment dwellers because they take up very little room and they are portable.

5. Meditate Outdoors

It’s springtime, which means that you should probably enjoy the outdoors. But with the quarantine, you may be pressed to find a spot where you can enjoy yourself. With meditation, you don’t need a big place to get away: your balcony or backyard will do. Or, if you’re not under a strict stay-at-home order, find a quiet place in a park or forest where you can be away from people and simply meditate. Never meditated before? Check out Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. Meditate on the season and the world around you. It will help ground you as a Heathen plus put you more in touch with the gods and goddesses of Heathenry.

Okay, so now you have some things to do for celebrating the Feast of Eostre. Go, and have fun. And stuff yourself with chocolate bunnies, because I said so. Next post, I’ll give you ideas for keeping yourself and the kids busy while indoors.

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How Heathens can Celebrate Easter with Christians

March 27, 2017 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 0 Comment

If you’re like me, chances are you have Christian relatives who celebrate some form of the Christian holiday of Easter. If you’re the only Heathen in your family, you may get an earful about what is considered the most holy time that Christians celebrate. Still, unless you’re looking to cut ties with your family–and I don’t recommend that–you may be looking for ways to enjoy the Easter celebrations. If you’re a Heathen who loves to get into fights with family members over Christian holidays, or at least not willing to put aside your differences for one or two days, this post isn’t for you.

Let’s take a look at some of the ways you can get involved with minimal headaches.

Put Your Pride on the Back Burner (or Don’t be an Asshole)

Unless you have an extremely open-minded family/extended family, most of them are going to take a dim view of you not being Christian. I’m sorry, but that’s the truth. They’ve been indoctrinated into the Christian belief system, and it’s unlikely you’re going to change their minds. You’re going to the Christian hell, and that’s all there is to it, (unless they can persuade you into the fold/back into the fold), and they really don’t get why you would worship pagan gods. At this point, all you can do is grit your teeth and hope to get through the Christian talk without losing your cool.

That being said, understand that this is a Christian holiday, even if they took on the pagan trappings surrounding it. Easter is considered to be more important to the Christian religions than Christmas, so realize that you are the outside here. It is you who is extended the olive branch, not them. So, don’t expect for them to understand/accept you being Heathen in their most holy time.

Because this is their most holy time, mentioning the appropriation of Eostre’s holiday at the Easter dinner is probably not going to do you any favors. Yes, they eat ham, which honors Freyr, but let it slide. Yes, they decorate eggs. Yes, they associate chicks and bunnies with Christ’s death and resurrection, but pointing out the incongruity of it all won’t cut it. If we want to maintain the peace in our celebrations, it is better to sit and listen rather than fight a foolish battle. This is their Easter–not ours, so let’s respect their religion, just like we’d want them to respect ours.

So, What Can You Enjoy?

At this point, you’re wondering what you can enjoy out of Easter. There are a lot of cool things you can do and still be part of the Easter celebration. Here are some of the things I recommend.

Egg Coloring

We color eggs for springtime, so there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy coloring eggs with your Christian family. Talking about spring and its renewal, as well as the cycle of life, is fairly safe.

Easter Egg Hunt

Why not hold an Easter egg hunt? Put together some of those plastic eggs and fill them with goodies. Hide them and watch as your family searches for them. You’ll all enjoy it.

Chicks and Bunnies

Whether live, toy, or simply drawings, the images of chicks and bunnies are pretty much safe territory. You may want to talk about the Oschter Haws which was brought into Pennsylvania by German settlers. Avoiding the Urglaawe references, your Christian family may be delighted to learn that that’s where the Easter bunny who laid colorful eggs came from.

Easter Candy

Easter candy originates from clever marketing by candy makers in the 19th century to capitalize on an untapped market. There’s no reason for you to mention this, nor is there any reason why you can’t have some yummy candy in pagan symbols such as rabbits, chicks, and eggs.

Easter Brunch or Dinner

Never turn down a good feast, even if it’s in honor of a god you don’t follow. All the trappings are Heathen, or at least, pagan, so enjoy spending time with family and friends. You may want to even bring some mead so your family may enjoy something a little different than the traditional grape wines. Toast to your family and to those family members who are no longer with you. You’ll be honoring the ancestors and still not offend your family.

Talk about Family, both Present and Past

Speaking of family, strike up a conversation about your family and your ancestors. Talk positively about them, or if someone in the family knows a particularly good story about an ancestor or a relative who is alive, encourage them to relay that story. As the good Doctor says, “We’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one.”

Listen to Your Family, Even if You Disagree with Them

If your family starts talking about Christianity, listen to them. You don’t have to agree with them, but when they tell you about their faith, they tell you about themselves. Ask questions. Ask why they believe what they believe, and don’t argue with them over their beliefs. You may discover that your mom believes in the Christian god because she finds comfort in a god who promises to care for her. Or your dad might actually not believe in the god but goes to church because the family does it. Or maybe your cousin is an atheist at heart. You can learn a lot about your family just by listening.

Go to Church with them

This suggestion is somewhat dangerous when it comes to family, not because you’re likely to change your faith, but more likely because you may offend or get into an argument with a family member. Some Christians, most notably Catholics, have rules against participating in sacraments such as the Eucharist (the bread and wine) because they believe you must be of their denomination to participate. (It has to do with transmogrification, but that’s another long post.)

Why go to church with your family? Well, first it puts you on the same page as your family members so if they discuss the sermon, you know what was said. Secondly, you can see Christianity with all its pagan influences. Third, churches often have amazing artwork that is worth seeing.

Just sit and watch as they go through sitting, kneeling, and standing routines. Listen. It may seem worthless, but in a way you are gathering intelligence about this religion. That way, you understand your family’s behavior a bit better.

Take Time Out for Our Gods, Wights, and Ancestors

I’ve given you ideas for keeping the peace with your Christian relatives. But this isn’t about Heathenry, it’s about keeping the peace in your extended family. Before you join in the Easter festivities, make an offering to the gods, especially Frigga and Frau Holle, the wights, and your ancestors for a peaceful gathering. And thank them after the day for their help, especially if things went successfully.

Hopefully, I’ve given you ideas for staying sane around Christians during their holiday. If, in the end, you do decide to try out some of these ideas, I’d be interested to learn how they worked out.
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Hail the Goddesses and Gods of Spring

March 21, 2017 Tyra Ulfdottir Comments 0 Comment

As we approach the vernal equinox, winter starts to lose her icy grasp and spring slowly slips in. Spring for me means mud season, which isn’t something I or my livestock particularly enjoy. One of my goats gave birth on the Ides of March to a lovely buckling. I had to come up with makeshift quarters for them and bring the kids inside at night due to the cold and predators. I’m now on kid watch for the last pregnant doe of the season, which means checking on her every couple of hours. Yay me. Hence the lateness of the blogs.

Here up north, we’re still in Skadi’s grasp, although the winter goddess is slowly relenting to the gentle hands of the spring goddesses and gods. These goddesses and gods are powerful in their own right, and while we may not know everything about them, I think we can make some good assumptions about them. Let’s look at them.

Courtesy of Magickal Graphics

Eostre or Ostara

If you want to start up an argument between Heathens or between Heathens and Christians, mention Eostre, the Anglo Saxon goddess of spring and rebirth. (In German, it’s believed to be Ostara.) A goodly portion of recons think that Eostre was simply the name of April and St. Bede suggested it was the name of a goddess when it wasn’t. Christians will accuse you of trying to undermine Easter if you mention it. Nevertheless, if you wish to enjoy a feast day to Eostre, do it. I have a whole post dedicated to Eostre and why I think she was probably a real goddess.

In Urglaawe, practitioners believe in the goddess Oschdra (Ostara?) who gives the Oschter Haws (Easter Rabbit) the ability to spread color throughout the world in the spring. The Oschter Haws was brought into Pennsylvania by German settlers where the Easter rabbit laid colorful eggs.

That being said, if you’re an Eostre believer, celebrate with candy, colored eggs, bunny rabbits, and chicks. (The candy, incidentally, is a later addition of more modern times.) Have fun and enjoy yourself. Make an offering to Eostre for the spring.

Idunn

Idunn, of the golden apples fame, is the goddess of spring, renewal, and immortality, is certainly a terrific goddess to honor in the springtime. She’s interesting not only because she’s a powerful goddess, who keeps the gods young, but she wasn’t born into the Aesir or Vanir (though you can make a case for her being Vanir, being a goddess of fertility.) She hails from alfar blood, making her one of the Elves.

She’s particularly important because without her, the gods would grow old and die. Her apples bring youth to those gods who do age.

Freyja

When talking about spring, I feel that you simply must include Freyja. Freyja is a Vanir and a fertility goddess. Without Freyja we would have no beginnings when it comes to new life. She is literally the conception of life, and my own UPG suggests spring is indeed her time. As such a powerful goddess, she has many roles: goddess of war, love, beauty, seidr, and death.

Freyr

If Freyja one of the quintessential goddesses of spring, Freyr is one of the gods of spring. One could make the argument (successfully, I might add), that he is a summer god. But Freyr also has the duty of gestation and growth. He is the male god of fertility, but he is often associated with germination. It just makes sense he is a fitting god for spring.

If you think about Easter celebrations, you’ll note that a traditional Easter meal is a ham. No surprise there. I’ve read that Christianity was happy enough to incorporate the pagan traditions of eating ham at Easter when ham was originally eaten in honor of Freyr. As Heathens, having a traditional ham dinner is certainly a great way to celebrate spring and Freyr.

Thor

On first blush, Thor seems out of place in the list of deities having to do with spring. But the thunderer is certainly considered a god who brings the rains which helps the fields to grow. Little wonder that he is married to Sif, who is a spring/summer goddess in her own right. Thor presides over the wind, rain, and even the crops. It makes sense that he is considered a major god and one who presides over spring and summer.

Sif

If Thor brings about rain to the crops, it is Sif, his wife, who receives the rain. She’s definitely a fertility goddess and an earth goddess. The story about how Loki cuts her golden hair and must find a substitute for her is a suggestion that her hair is the wheat crops. (Incidentally, cutting a woman’s hair was a sign that she was unfaithful — something to think about when reading that Loki found his way into her bedroom and cut her hair while she was sleeping.) But, I digress here. Sif is certainly an earth goddess and spring and summer is her time.

Honoring the Gods and Goddesses of Spring

Springtime is a transition time. As modern day Heathens, we acknowledge that the equinox is the first day of spring. However, in ancient times, our ancestors looked at spring differently. Spring was believed to maybe start with Grundsaudaag or Groundhog’s Day in Urglaawe tradition. The groundhog replaced the badger or bear in German tradition. While, we’re well past Groundhog’s Day, we can hold a feast in honor of spring and our spring gods and goddesses.

Sigrblot usually comes in April and is celebrated with offerings to Freyr and Freyja. Most pagans consider May 1st as a celebration time of spring which includes Walpugisnach. While it may be a more modern interpretation of the Heathen calendar, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy it. Unless you’re a member of the recon rabble, there’s no reason why you can’t adopt Heathen and pagan traditions your own holidays as you see fit.

I mentioned coloring eggs and rabbits as part of the Eostre celebrations. Even if there wasn’t an Eostre, it doesn’t mean that you can’t take our older Heathen traditions that survived and changed, and make them in honor of the spring goddesses and gods you do wish to venerate. I think they will be pleased.

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