Heathens Archives — The Rational Heathen

12 Reasons Why I Follow the Heathen Gods and Not the Christian One (Part Three)

June 2, 2021 The Rational Heathen Comments 4 comments

I was asked by a Christian in the comments section why I follow the Heathen gods. I have plenty of answers why, which is why you can read about it in Part One and Part Two.

Please note that these aren’t the only reasons why I am a Heathen, and because a Christian asked, I want to point out the obvious folly behind their beliefs as well. Look, I swallowed the Christian Kool-Aid for years, and eventually my logic won out. I would’ve probably stayed agnostic or even gone atheist, had it not been for Tyr and Thor. More on that later. Let’s go through the last four reasons (and the bonus fifth reason).

4. The Whole Christ Story is preposterous for several reasons

Oiy! I’m back to bashing Christianity again. But let’s talk about the Christ myth for a moment, shall we? I’ll get back to why I follow the Heathen gods in a moment. The Christian bible goes into a vast lineage of Joseph–who was technically NOT Jesus’s father according to the myth, but probably was–all the way back from Adam and Eve.

Timing Issues, or You Can Ask the Doctor About That

You knew I had to get a Doctor Who reference in somehow. So, why not, since we’re talking about the past?

Jesus’s whole “begets” is basically the bullshit that the creationists use to justify their belief that the Earth is only 6000 years old. That and all the other “begets” and claims someone lived 500 years here, and 1000 years there. Never mind science has proven the Earth is several billion years old and there is no way humans were around for just 6000 years. We know through archaeology that Homo Sapiens–our race–have been around for 200,000 years or so, according the the fossil record. That doesn’t include our hominid ancestors who came before us.

The Earth is Billions of Years Old. Get Over It.

We know the fossil record is legitimate. We know that thousands of archaeologists, paleontologists, and geologists aren’t in a gigantic conspiracy to cover the “truth” up. Shit like that just doesn’t happen. Sure, there have been hoaxes. But we know they’re hoaxes because some scientist actually stepped forward and said it had to be.

Science isn’t always right, but that’s the beauty of it. We make the best possible informed guesses with the amount of data we have (hypothesizes, and then theories). When a new fact presents itself that flies in the face of what we believe, we modify our statements accordingly. We are certain some theories are indeed facts (based on the physical and repeatable proof), such as the theory of gravity.

We know the Earth is about 4.5 billion years old, from the geologic and fossil records. Yeah, that’s quite a difference from the 6000 years the New Earth Christians claim it is. So, the whole Garden of Eden thing couldn’t have happened. The proof of the Earth’s age has to do with measurements and facts. The proof the New Earth Christians have? A book written by a bunch of Bronze Age peoples. Hmm. I wonder which one is more accurate?

The Earth wasn’t made in six days, there was no Adam and Eve (or Ask and Embla, for that matter), and there wasn’t a Garden of Eden. Those are just stories to provide an answer to a group of desert peoples on how the world was created. Much of it is allegory, similar to our own stories. But people look at the bible like its a science text. It’s not.

The Whole Crucifixion Sacrifice Makes No Sense

Jesus supposedly dies for the world’s sins because of the inherited “Original Sin” — that being Adam and Eve eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. That Yahweh put there. Along with a snake.

Yahweh decides to punish humans for being ignorant fools by having their descendants inherit their parents’ sin. Then sends his son down (who is their god, himself) and sacrifices himself to get rid of the sin. Only, he doesn’t. You have to get baptized to get that cleaned up. And people still sin despite the baptism. So, Jesus dies and stays dead for what amounts to a three day weekend. To appease himself.

What?

Okay, if there’s no Adam and Eve, Garden of Eden, etc, then why did Jesus go through the sacrifice to allegedly purge us of this sin?

And Jesus vanishes in a puff of logic…

3. Heathenism Has Always Fascinated Me

Honest to gods truth here: if I weren’t a Heathen or pagan, I’d probably be agnostic or even an atheist. In fact, before I became a Heathen, I was on the road to atheism. But, something always held me back from being an atheist, and because of that, I follow the Heathen gods.

Growing Up Skeptic

When I was young, I quickly figured out Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny didn’t exist. I’d say before I was five, I had it all figured out. That didn’t mean I didn’t want to believe in supernatural things. On the contrary. I’d look for fairies and Elves, and other creatures in the forest outside my home.

I remember some kids talking about “fairies” in this one place I knew. Quizzing them about the fairies, I realized they were talking about dandelion and goats-beard seeds and not actual little folk. I was, as you can imagine, quite disappointed. So, I pretty much decided they were all the activity of overactive imaginations. That being said, I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting Landvaetr. I know of many Heathens on the Internet who deal with them, so I am agnostic when it comes to them.

Stories About the Gods Intrigued Me Enough to Follow the Heathen Gods

I remember as a kid being utterly fascinated with stories about Loki and Thor. Tyr’s story about how he sacrificed his hand. Idunn’s apples. The building of Asgard. The stories inspired me in ways the bible never could. They were great stories about gods whom I could relate to. The stories had humor, courage, confidence, honor, treachery, love, and self-sacrifice. The bible may have those things, but the stories never appealed to me, except when they spoke about angels.

Growing Up with Runes, Tolkien, and Fantasy

I was in sixth grade when I was introduced to Tolkien’s The Hobbit. A teacher of mine–in a parochial school, no less!–read us from The Hobbit and Ursula K. LeGuin’s A Wizard of Earthsea.

This, this was what I wanted. Especially Tolkien. The story, while fiction, held some ancient truths in them. Dwarves mine and craft beautiful things. Light Elves sing and are in tune with nature. Trolls are dangerous; dragons hoard gold. Tolkien’s works were inspired by the Heathen stories. Even if he did grow up Catholic–some he and I had in common–he used his knowledge to paint an imaginative Heathen world.

My overly Christian sibling must have been struck by Thor or another of the Norse gods, because they gave me my first runestones. I soon had the elder Futhark memorized. I returned to the stones again and again, even when I didn’t really believe in them. They generally gave me good advice over the years.

2. My beliefs are my own. I don’t have to follow a set of ridiculous rules to obtain a reward.

Although I am highly opinionated when it comes to my beliefs (no, really?!), in the end my beliefs are my own. Your beliefs are your own. As long as it doesn’t impinge on someone else’s freedom, or doesn’t break the law, you’re welcome to believe whatever you want. I may think you’re an idiot, a racist, or a recon moron, but if you’re not violating laws, murdering innocents, or preventing people from worshiping our gods, I don’t care.

My Gods Don’t Care About the Minutia of My Day-to-Day Life

Honestly, there are days when I’ve not been my best. I’m guessing there are days when you’re not your best. But we try to be honorable if we are Heathens. That means living to a moral code of conduct. Our gods accept that.

Thor is unlikely to strike me down because I’ve been late on posts. Freyja and Freyr aren’t going to be pissed because I couldn’t cook a pig roast over <name a Heathen holiday>. Tyr isn’t going to punish me because I looked at another religion, or swore mightily when I fell and bruised a knee. They want me to behave honorably, which is part of the ethics of reciprocity. The basis of the ethics of reciprocity states to treat people the way you want to be treated, aka the Golden Rule. Heathenism accepts this as don’t treat others the way you don’t want to be treated. In other words, I do my best and realize I am human with human failings. The gods know this.

Look, I know some of you are homosexual, practice polyamory, or are trans. I am not. I am heterosexual and monogamous. That is my choice. What your choice is doesn’t concern me as long as you’re not exploiting minors or harming animals. I look at you as a person, and if you happen to be an asshole, then I don’t like you. But sexuality doesn’t figure into the equation, whether you’re my friend or not, and I suspect the same is true with our gods. I doubt seriously the gods care what you do in your bedroom as long as it’s between consenting adults. It’s when you violate oaths, commit adultery, or murder someone, that’s when they take serious offense.

My Gods Care About the World

Many Heathen gods are nature gods. That means their powers come from nature. Just as Skadi brings the cold and snow, Thor brings the lightning and rain. Sif and Freyr bring the harvest. Our gods are part of our world and yes, it pains them when humans defile it. Humans haven’t been granted stewardship of the world; we are a part of it and must live according to its laws. It is folly when religions treat our world like we own it. Okay, we’re here and the dominant species, but by the gods, plenty of things like diseases, asteroids, and volcanoes can wiped us off the face of the Earth.

As Heathens, we need to show respect to nature and its bounty. Not everything should be paved over, built up, or otherwise controlled. We’re still at the mercy of weather, earthquakes, and other natural catastrophes. We need to work with our gods and the Landvaetr to treat our world like the only place we live in. Because we do.

1. I have met and communicated with my gods.

This is probably the most controversial belief, but yes, I know Tyr, Thor, Odin, Freyr, Freyja, Loki, and a host of other deities. This is pure UPG or Unverified Personal Gnosis. They visit me in dreams. They talk to me during meditation or occasionally during other times. I have met Odin in person. (Freaked me out.) I have had Tyr possess me for a short time. (It was strange–don’t ask). I have felt love for them, and I can feel their love towards me. And that is good.

My gods work with the living. My reward doesn’t come after I die; my reward is here and now, day after day. Life is a gift and is worth living.

I already know where I will go when I die. It’s not a case of how much penance I do, or whether I believe in them. The fact that I know they are with us just sweetens the deal. I’m glad they were patient enough to convince me they existed.

Bonus Reason: Most Christians as assholes

To make this ridiculously long post even longer, I had to add this dig at Christians. Most Christians are assholes. Sure, there are Christians who are nice. Just like I know good and kind atheists, agnostics, Jews, Wiccans, Muslims, and peoples of other faiths. The problem I have is that many Christians tend to be egotistical and self-righteous. They “know” because they believe in Jesus that they’re going to heaven, no matter what they do. They wear their faith on their sleeve. And they wouldn’t do good works if it didn’t give them brownie points in heaven. They become passive-aggressive when you don’t agree with them, telling you they’ll pray for your soul. Guess what? I don’t need their self righteous attitude.

I’ve also had Christians assume that since I’m not Christian that I have no moral code of conduct. They’re wrong, of course. I do indeed have a code of conduct, and I resent their implications. I don’t need a god to tell me to do the right thing (although Tyr has complained when I’ve fucked up). I try very hard to live honorably. Sometimes I succeed.

I think I’ve written enough on the subject. As always, feel free to tell me what you think in the comments section.

12 Reasons Why I Follow the Heathen Gods and Not the Christian One (Part Two)

May 17, 2021 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

This is the second part of 12 Reasons why I follow the Heathen Gods and not the Christian One. If you want to read the first part, you can read it HERE.

In the last piece, I slammed the Christian faith, but I realized I didn’t really address Heathen beliefs. So, even though this includes comments about how Christianity differs, my main focus is on Heathenry.

So, let’s get started and see why I prefer Heathenry over Christianity.

8. Heathenry doesn’t care whom you worship or who worships our Heathen gods

In most forms, Heathenry really doesn’t care if you worship our gods, the Christian god, some other pantheon, or no god. In the past Heathens would worship gods from different cultures alongside the Norse/Germanic gods. Granted, it seems a little incongruous to worship the white Christ alongside Thor, but there you go. I personally think it’s folly to worship the Christian god alongside our gods, because the Christian god has made it abundantly clear he does not want to be worshiped alongside pagan gods.

But, if I want to honor Tyr, Skadi, Perun, Zisa, and some other god, that’s no big deal to Heathenry, for the most part. (Yeah, there are wankers in every religion, including ours, who will say that’s not Heathenry, but they’re not Asa-popes, so ignore them.) The main part of Heathenry is that you accept our Nordic gods and goddesses, and that’s about it.

Our Gods are Colorblind

Also, our gods and goddesses are colorblind. That means that it doesn’t matter what ethnicity you come from, if you’re Heathen, you’re with us. Yeah there are some folkish (AKA racist) types who have decided for whatever bizarre reason that only white, Northern peoples can worship our gods, but that’s totally incorrect, especially given the recent DNA and bone mineral compositions discovered in archaeology. People who have occupied Viking burials have proven to originate in Poland, Russia, Slavic countries, Mediterreanan countries (including Italy and Spain), Mongolia, and North Africa.

Warning: SCIENCE! or How We Know Where People Came From

We know Vikings came from different ethnicities because scientists analyzed the strontium isotopes in their teeth and compared it with the soil of many places. The land you grew up in leaves a lasting strontium signature that is unique to that land. Scientists can determine where the person in a particular gravesite grew up given the unique set to isotopes. So, even though we only have some writings about a black Viking, we can infer from the strontium isotopes that those who were given warriors’ burials (or, at least burials with grave goods) were not just from Scandinavia (although many were), many were from other regions and other skin colors. Many had Mjolnir pendants. Surprise!

Vikings Went EVERYWHERE

This should come to no surprise to anyone because the Vikings traveled as far east as Baghdad, as south as North Africa, and as west as the Eastern seaboard of North America. We know from new finds in archaeology that there was a thriving eastern trade between the Vikings and places such as Constantinople, Baghdad, and a number of cities around the Caspian Sea. Vikings left runes, carvings of their ships, and other artifacts where they went. It makes sense that they mingled with the local populace, and even obtained mates from those locations.

Heathenry is Egalitarian

So, it makes sense that Heathenry should be egalitarian, in respect to other faiths. Heathens incorporated the gods of others with their own gods, and worshiped whatever gods made sense to them.

Christianity, however, is a religion of persecutors. I have plenty of documented evidence how pagans were constantly forced to convert — often at sword point. The so-called Christian persecution by Romans doesn’t really hold up when comparing the biblical texts to Roman historians. Did persecution occur? I don’t doubt some did, but I more suspect those stories were made up to provide martyrs for the church.

7. Heathenism treats men and women more as equals; Christianity is misogynistic

Heathenry treats our men and women as equals now, and in the past, they were treated almost as equals. We know that the concept of the shieldmaiden isn’t a fanciful story, given that we’re now discovering burials with swords and weapons of war include women, whose skeletons were mistaken as men’s until someone thought to run DNA analysis on them.

Misogyny as a Christian Tradition

Unfortunately, most of our modern beliefs and misogyny stems from our Christian traditions. That women could never be warriors, that they didn’t have a role in society, other than producing babies, and that they didn’t travel with the Viking men. And yet, we’re now finding more and more graves that had presumably Viking men contain female skeletons with swords.

Now, some people discount this, saying that they didn’t think the women actually used the swords, but as one archaeologist so deftly put it, “Would there even be an argument that the person buried with the sword was a warrior, if that person was male?” Excellent point.

Women were often priestesses called Gydhja. Heathens revered these women and they helped people when it came to healing, seeing the future, and talking to the gods. Yes, there were priests (Godhi), but women played a significant role as well.

Although nowadays some sects of Christianity allow women priests, this is something that has occurred within the past fifty years. Even so, many sects–including the Catholic Church–do not allow priestesses. Obviously a travesty and it aligns with what is in their bible.

Women Fought and Traded Alongside Viking Men

Preconceived notions aside, we know from burials that women did accompany men given the strontium isotopes in their teeth. And while more Viking men than women came from Scandinavia, there was a large enough faction in both sexes which came from other places. In other words, there was more diversity in women than men, but at the same time, there were enough men who came from different places who were given Viking-style graves to suggest that the women weren’t slaves or concubines, necessarily. The grave goods in the burials suggest that they were people of some status other than slaves.

Not all women who came with the Vikings were warriors, though. Most likely many of them were traders, artisans, skilled crafters of goods, and other support laborers. Sure, there were the camp followers, but there was also a need for someone to support the armies or raiding parties, as well as establish connections with the locals in the area. Both men and women could easily fill that role.

Women in Viking Society Had More Rights

We know that a woman could divorce a man under certain circumstances. We also know that women could own land, titles, and a fair amount of property, especially if they were widowed. Women were priestesses, and seidr was considered more of feminine magic than male magic. Freyja was a major deity, right alongside Odin and Thor. We know that Freyja gets first pick of the dead warriors — which presumably includes female warriors. Yeah, Odin gets the second cut. Think about that.

I’m not claiming that everything was fair for women. In fact we see in our myths that Odin was and could be downright misogynous. Just read the passages from the Havamal about his belief concerning women, and I rest my case.

Christianity is Misogynous

Okay, so let’s look at what Christianity says about women. Paul says women should obey their husbands in Corinthians. Timothy has a slew of bullshit. Outside of the Bible, you have people like Martin Luther saying “If a woman grows weary and at last dies from childbearing, it matters not. Let her die from bearing, she is there to do it.” Wow. What an asshole.

Women have almost always been the victims of witch hunts since Christianity began. The “Thou shall not suffer a witch to live” in the Bible (Exodus 22:18) has given religious leaders a reason to murder innocent women throughout the ages. And while men did get caught up in this bullshit, more often women are the targets.

6. Most Heathens accepts Science as fact; Christians, not so much

Most Heathens accept science and the information it has brought to us on how our world was formed, Sure, we have our own version of fundamentalism, but if pressed, I think most Heathens would accept the latest archaeological findings.

Norse Creation Stories

Our religion has its own creation stories. We certainly don’t accept that the world was created in six days like the Christians. Most of us also don’t believe that our world came into being when fire and ice joined together and made rime that a cow licked to create Frost Giants and gods. And most of us don’t believe that Odin and his brothers killed Ymir to create our world. If hard pressed, I’d say that Heathens consider the Norse creation story as a myth and not fact. I believe the story is an allegory of sorts, explaining to a Bronze Age to Iron Age culture how the world came into existence. It gives a satisfactory tale that people enjoy listening to.

Viking Creation Stories Are Oral Traditions, Similar to the Children’s Game of Telephone

Viking stories were oral traditions. That means they weren’t written down. Sure, we have images of certain stories that show that the key components were still told, but oral traditions change after time. Since the creation story was written down well after the Viking Age, chances are it changed quite a bit over the years. Chances are the story people told before the Viking Age began and what they told after Scandinavia was Christianized were probably very different, as our Northern ancestors told and retold the stories countless times, embellishing them for the audience, similar to the children’s game of telephone. (Or is it called “operator?” I can’t remember.)

My point is Heathens generally don’t consider these stories as gospel. They are stories about our gods and heroes that have elements of truth in them, but aren’t considered a science text. Even so, we have sagas that have led us to discoveries such as the Viking settlement in North America and other interesting archaeological finds.

5. Heathens consider our writings incomplete and written by humans; Christians believe that their Bible is the word of their god

Bronze age to Iron age peoples wrote the Bible, not their god. There are so many inconsistencies within the Bible that you really can’t expect to take the text as law. Heathens, on the other hand, know that our stories were passed down in an oral tradition until someone like Snorri Sturluson wrote them down. We know they’re not complete, and we know that they’ve been influenced by Christianity.

We also know that there are common themes in the Norse stories we read. For example, we know that Tyr sacrificed his hand to Fenrir because we see images of Fenrir and Tyr on artifacts.

What about the Havamal?

Some believe the Havamal is Odin’s own writings. I can’t say for certain, but there might be a glimmer of truth to that. Still, if you believe the Havamal is Odin’s own words, that’s okay. He provides guidelines and not laws like the Christian god for how to live your life. It’s simply words of wisdom coming from the All Father.

The Havamal does have misogynistic statements in it. But you do have to consider the source–if indeed Odin wrote it. I don’t consider Odin a role model for how to treat women, and you shouldn’t either. So, like anything, Heathens take the story with a grain of salt. Or they should.

Heathens Accept Unverified Personal Gnosis or UPG (More on this later)

As Heathens we accept that the Heathen gods are still around and speak to us personally. We don’t require a church to hear our gods.

Okay, I’ve espoused enough for this time why Heathenry is infinitely better than Christianity. I’ll hopefully have a wrap up sometime soon. Again, take what you like out of this and tell me what you think in the comments section.

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Twelve Reasons Why I Follow the Heathen Gods and Not the Christian One (Part One)

April 25, 2021 The Rational Heathen Comments 3 comments

Sure enough, a Christian came on board and asked why I believe/follow the Heathen gods. I have tons of reasons why, but I’ll be happy enough to mention twelve. The problem is my explanations are lengthy, and I have a lot to say, which means this is probably going to go over three posts. Which is fine, since I’ve been failing miserably at keeping my posts up.

If you’re a Heathen, chances are you will find my arguments useful, especially if you have to talk to a Christian (ahem,…family member?) about why you’re Heathen and not Christian. No doubt there are other reasons, but I back my statements with facts and science. So, feel free to quote me.

So, without further ado, here are my first four reasons for why I follow the Heathen gods.

12. The bullshit Adam and Eve story being taken as fact.

Not a reason for why I follow the Heathen gods, but rather why I don’t follow the Christian one. First on my list is the Christians’ entire creation story of Adam and Eve. Yes, I know this is in the Torah, but I suspect that most Jews don’t take the Adam and Eve story as fact. If you believe that Adam and Eve were actually real, you’re an idiot.

Billions and Billions…

The Earth is billions of years old. Yes, BILLIONS. That means if you subscribe to the whole Genesis thing, you’re essentially a creationist that believes the first Homo Sapiens came into being about 6000 years ago. (That’s counting back all the lineages from Jesus to Adam.)

But we know thanks to Archaeology and Paleontology (Science, people!) that our species of Homo Sapiens evolved some 200,000 to 300,000 in Africa. We left Africa some 100,000 years ago in a migration. So, Adam and Eve could not have existed at all, let alone 6000 years ago.

Adam and Eve–Seriously, People?

Yes, yes, there was most likely a mitochondrial Eve whom all humans obtained their mitochondria from, who lived some 150,000 years ago, but this isn’t the Eve of the bible. In fact, it’s an unfortunate term, because the bible thumpers use this as proof for an Eve. Just as there was a Y-chromosomal Adam (again, unfortunate term) who lived somewhere between 180,000 and 560,000 years ago. Never mind the fact that “Adam” couldn’t have been an actual Homo Sapiens, but was probably one of the precursor homids we evolved from.

What apparently happened is due to the two or three times humans nearly went extinct, those with mitochondrial Eve’s mitochondria survived, just like those with Y-chromosomal Adam’s Y chromosome, survived. Kids, it’s not rocket science. And I should know, being a former rocket scientist.

Yahweh the Asshat

Okay, so we’ve cleared the existence of Adam and Eve up, it’s time to analyze the story, itself. Looking at the whole Adam and Eve story suggests that the Christian god is a serious wanker. He creates two naive adults (that are basically children), puts a tree of knowledge in their garden, and tells them not to eat from it.

I don’t know about you, but what responsible adult would do that? Let’s change the tree to a firearm, god to a parent, and Adam and Eve to a brother and sister. Now, tell me, would you leave a firearm out where kids could get them? I thought not.

Furthermore, we have a supposedly all-powerful, all-knowing god. Would a decent god who knew what would happen would stick a tree and a serpent in the Garden of Eden to tempt them? Seriously? Who does that? A sadist, that’s who.

Where the Christians Get it Fucked Up

You might be interested in how the whole Christ myth plays into the Adam and Eve story. You see, Yahweh was so pissed off, that he allowed Adam and Eve’s original sin to get inherited by all their descendants. So, we all do time for a sin committed supposedly by the first humans. Let’s pretend we’re lobotomized for the moment. What judge would make the innocent great-grandson of a murderer do time? And not just the innocent great-grandson, but the innocent sons and daughters of the murderer, their kids, their grandkids, and anyone else in the line, in-perpetuity?

Now, wait, it gets better. Send your son down to Earth, have him antagonize officials enough to get himself crucified so he can redeem all of humanity for the sins of the first supposed humans.

But science proves there wasn’t an Adam and Eve, right? So, what does that say about Jesus’s sacrifice?

Ask and Embla (the Norse Adam and Eve)

Okay, so you’ve read the whole Norse creation myth how ice and fire collided to make a rime, and a cow licked the salt from Ymir. And how Odin and his bros slayed Ymir and created Midgard. And how Odin and his bros created Ask and Embla…

Guess what, people? It’s a fucking story by an Iron Age culture how the world came into being. It isn’t fact. It is a story told by people with limited knowledge of the world how it was created. That means it may have kernels of truth in it, but a lot of it is just storytelling.

Next…

11. Eternal damnation for not believing

Okay, this is rich. You don’t believe in Yahweh or Jesus, and you burn in Hell forever. You sin against god’s laws and you burn in Hell forever. Hels Bells, even the US penal system only keeps you incarcerated for life if you’re really bad, and puts those to death who commit really heineous crimes.

Yeah, Heathens have our own version of the Christian Hell in Niflheim called Nastrond. Murderers, adulterers, and oath breakers get chewed on by a dragon. (I kind of like this), but honestly, is it for eternity? We don’t know. And oddly enough, Valhalla has plenty of adulterers, oathbreakers, and murderers, according to the sagas, so I really doubt Nastrond keeps them all there.

I’m not sure what to think about Nastrond. Is it a Christian addition to our stories, or does it really exist? Even the Greek Hades had a place where people who sinned against the gods got eternal punishments, but for the most part normal people existed in Hell as shades. Heroes were brought to the Elysium Fields. Everyone else just sort of hung around in an okay sort of afterlife.

So, do murderers, oathbreakers, and adulterers go to Nastrond forever? Hel is often fair, which makes me think the punishment fits the crime. Break an oath or cheat on your spouse once, and maybe you get gnawed on for a bit. Commit genocide and start a world war, and maybe you get chewed on for as long as it takes. But what do I know?

10. Heathenism is an ancient religion; Christianity is a new religion

Let’s talk religion, shall we? Heathenism is an ancient pagan religion that has its roots in animism. We were some of the last pagans before Christianity took hold, because the Norse were in remote areas.

Although religion primarily came from the Middle East, we still have proof that Stonehenge and other monuments were erected some 5000 or more years ago–around the same time as the Sumerians were creating their own monuments. I can’t say that Heathenism sprung from these early roots of sun and moon worship, but certainly there are links to shamanistic and animistic beliefs.

From what I can tell, Heathenism in the Nordic cultures came out of pro-Germanistic beliefs, thought to appear somewhere around 500 BCE. Yahwism appeared around 1000 BCE but he was a Canaanite god who was one of many gods and goddesses. He even had a spouse named Asherah who was worshiped with him. Judaism didn’t start being monotheistic until somewhere between 515 BCE and 70 CE. And Christianity didn’t really appear until about 42 CE with Paul’s proselytizing.

You may be able to point to Judaism and say your religion started with that, but honestly, not so much. You don’t follow all the laws laid down in Leviticus–you mix meat and milk, you mix different types of textiles, and you probably eat pork. And you certainly don’t kill your kids for being disrespectful. Not to mention that you now celebrate the Sabbath on Sunday and not Saturday.

9. Heathenism does not preach; Christianity is a religion of proselytizers

When was the last time you had a Heathen knock on your door and ask you if you knew about the good news from Odin?

As Heathens (and Pagans) we really don’t give a shit about what others believe as long as their religion doesn’t interfere with our rights. Look, you can believe your garbage about creationism all you want, but I draw the line when you try to teach kids your Yahweh and Jesus myths as fact. Just like I draw the line at having legislators come up with deeming a human life starts at conception (thank the Roman Catholic Church and evangelicals for that.)

Look, I don’t give a shit if you have a nativity scene or Christmas lights at the State Capitol. I don’t care if there’s an Easter Egg hunt on the White House’s front lawn. What I care about is whether you decide to make Christianity the main religion of the United States.

Heathenism isn’t about proselytizing. It’s about your relationship with the gods and nature. A Heathen has a relationship with his or her gods and nature, and doesn’t really give a shit what you believe as long as you don’t shove it in his or her face.

Tune in next week for my next set of why I follow the Heathen gods.

6 New Year’s Resolutions Every Heathen Should Make

December 28, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Well, that title is a bit of click-bait, isn’t it? Seriously though, as Heathens looking into the upcoming new year, we do have oaths, resolutions, or at least, things we’d like to accomplish next year. This is why I’ve come up with six resolutions we, as Heathens, should make for next year. See if you agree with me.

Take Better Care of Yourself

You may think it’s odd for me to tell you to to be selfish and take care of yourself first, but that’s exactly what I’m telling you. Your resolution should be to care for yourself better than you have been caring for yourself. This means getting more sleep, more rest, better quality food, and exercise. Why? Because if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will. And if you care for others, i.e., children, animals, elderly, disabled, or sick, who will take care of them if you become sick? No one.

So, you need to care for yourself, in order to care for others in your life. Eat organic foods and less junk food. Exercise at least three times a week, preferably more. If you do get sick, stay home and get well–go to the doctor, if necessary. There are people who depend on you to be on top of your game; you won’t be 100 percent if you’re tired all the time, sick, or out-of-shape.

Did you know that 50 percent of Americans’ diets consist of processed food on average? Yes. All the soft drink, frozen meals, breakfast cereals, desserts, canned foods, and prepackaged whatever isn’t necessarily healthy for you and takes you away from your Heathen roots. I encourage you to buy local foods, which have ties to the land you live in, and will sustain you better and taste better than the shit that comes prepackaged.

Learn a New Skill

As Heathens, it’s important for us to keep our minds and bodies challenged. That means learning a new skill, whether it’s a new craft, a new language, a martial art, a musical instrument, or a new sport. Learning new things not only improves your mental function, it helps postpone the onset of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. When we work on things that our ancestors did such as knife-making, hunting, knapping, leather tooling, farming, raising livestock, weaving, spinning, foraging, gardening, preserving food, and whatnot, you may find a greater understanding and link to the past.

Learn to Meditate

Meditation isn’t necessarily sitting cross-legged and saying “Ommm,” although you can do that, if you want to. Meditation is what is called “mindfulness,” which is being aware of your body and your surroundings. It’s being present within the moment.

Meditation allows you to pay attention to everything around you. It allows you to clear your thoughts and lower your heart rate. It allows you to reduce the stress in your life and your reaction to the stress. And it also enables us to forge a link between ourselves and the gods.

When we clear our thoughts, we open our minds to the gods and allow them to enter. Although they can overcome the constant chatter of our busy minds, they don’t like having to do that. Tyr, I know, isn’t thrilled with dealing with the chaotic “monkey mind” that we all have. He’ll do it when he has to, but he prefers an ordered mind. Loki, on the other hand, is great with distractions.

One good book worth considering is Meditation for Fidgety Skeptics. There are other good meditation books as well, so if you’d like other referrals, I can provide them.

Get Outdoors More Often

It’s all too common for humans to become “box people,” as one friend used to call people who never stepped foot in nature. These people went from climate-controlled homes to climate-controlled cars to a climate-controlled workplace, and back again. They had safely encapsulated themselves in boxes that didn’t challenge them. Oh sure, they might enjoy a nice day outside during lunch or on the weekend, but rain, snow, wind, heat? No way.

It’s ridiculously easy becoming maudlin about nature from the 10th story of a high rise, or even on the manicured lawns of suburbia. When you’re out in it, you have to learn what nature requires you to do. That means planning and preparing to be out with it. The wild is not a kind mistress — some areas are downright dangerous for the unprepared. Heathens need to go to those places –wild and natural places–where there is both beauty and danger, and know what to do. I’m not telling you to risk your life, by any stretch; I’m asking you to claim what is your birthright as a creature of this Earth. This requires knowledge, preparation, and skill.

If you’re not ready for a wilderness experience, you need to start small. Go to a park and enjoy the grass underfoot and the trees overhead. Watch the animals, however tame they may act around humans. Take walks more outside. Pay attention to your surroundings. Read about places you’d want to visit and go there when funds are available. In the meantime, learn the national forests and parks in your area. Learn about the wildlife. Become a hunter and angler. The more you learn about nature, the better that knowledge will serve you as a Heathen.

Learn More About Your Ancestors

Love them or hate them, your relatives and ancestors say a lot about who you are. Without them, you would not exist. Whether you were adopted into your current family or whether the family who raised you were your actual birth parents, every Heathen should know where they came from. You should honor those ancestors whom you deem worthy of honoring. If you have no recent ancestors whom you feel are worthy of reverence, that’s okay. Go back further, or choose to honor more distant ancestors in general. Not all of them can be assholes.

Even if you can’t go back very far in your lineage, knowing and understanding the people whom your ancestry belongs to is a good idea. Why? Because you can add and incorporate customs, gods, and practices into your beliefs and honoring. That way, it becomes something more personal to you.

If you’re adopted, honoring the ancestors of your adopted parents can also bring meaning as well. After all, they chose you to be part of their family and kindred. Remember, we’re talking ethnicity here, and not race, because race is a construct. We’re all humans, which means if you were raised Swedish, even if your birth parents might have been Anglo Saxon, you’re Swedish in ethnicity, if not birth.

Learn More About Our Gods and Our Past

As Heathens, it’s important to read the Eddas, stories about our gods, and important literature that has made up much of what we know about the Heathens who came before us and Heathenry. Learning how to translate and read old manuscripts is a part of it, certainly, but even if you can’t pony up for a course in Old Icelandic, Old Norse, or Anglo Saxon, just reading the translated stories will provide richness to your life and your beliefs. It’s a good idea to do your own research and formulate your own thoughts–lots of recon wankers will tell you what to believe because they have a “theory.” Trust me, you can decide for yourself.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post on resolutions. If you did, consider buying me a coffee for my hard work. See you here in 2019. May you have a wonderful and safe New Year!

Gods or Ancestors?

October 14, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Occasionally I get a comment from someone who’s convinced that the gods don’t talk to us mere mortals that often. That most people who deal with the gods are actually dealing with the ancestors. It’s an interesting part of Heathenry I think is worth addressing. Are Heathens receiving messages from gods or ancestors?

Actually, I think it’s both.

The Unknown Gods

Before I get into the supposition that the gods are with us, let me address the personal nature of the gods, themselves. There are Heathens who believe that our gods really aren’t personal deities. That the concept of a personal deity comes from Christianity and those concepts taint our modern day beliefs. There is some truth to that. The gods aren’t just the gods of humanity, but the gods of all things. In fact, I suspect that there are gods we humans do not know. We don’t know them not because our knowledge of them disappeared, but because we never knew them to begin with. I suspect there are gods who do not deal with humans at all, who instead govern other things and animals other than ourselves. They are never in contact with us, except maybe if we touch their realms.

Not the Gods I’m Talking About

These aforementioned gods that have very little to do with humanity are not the gods I am talking about. The gods I am talking about are the gods who have made themselves known to humans. Who still make themselves known to humans. Odin, Thor, Freyja, Freyr, Tyr, Loki, Baldr, Skadi, Ullr, Heimdallr,…the list goes on. We would not know them if we did not have contact with them. Sure, you could say that hearing thunder and calling it a god is the basis for Thor, but then, why bother to have positive connotations with a thunder god if he didn’t somehow look benevolently on humans?

So, we can assume that the gods we know have had interactions with humans. Who still do have interactions with humans. When someone tells me that they’ve interacted with certain deities, I generally accept their word. Not because I’m gullible, but because unless they give me a real reason to disbelieve them, who am I to say otherwise? I’ve talked with gods and goddesses and I already knew some things that the people who had a UPG told me, so if something doesn’t sound right, I might have to ask further questions.

Is it a God?

I know that gods have taken other forms to get their message through to their recipients, so it would not surprise me if ancestors do the same thing. Could an ancestor mimic a god? Yes, I know of one case where it has happened, and not for the better. There are plenty of not so benevolent spirits out there looking to cause harm, but it’s pretty obvious when they do show up.

One way to tell if it is really a god is to consider the following:

Do they act like the gods/goddesses of our stories and of other people’s credible UPGs? Yes, there have been interactions with gods/goddesses that all seem to have the same feeling. Or are they different, and in what ways?
Does the deity ask you to do something harmful to yourself or others? If they do, you may not be dealing with the entity you think you’re dealing with. Chances are its malevolent and you need to get away from it.
Does the entity inform you who they are? Some spirits do lie, but you have a better chance in deciding if you’re really dealing with the god just by research and talking to knowledgeable folks.
Does a Gothi/Gythia confirm your experience?
How does the god treat you? Is it in line with what you know of the god?

My Own Experience with the Gods

The gods are an interesting bunch. Some will just pop in to say hello or see what is going on, but most are reserved and only show up at times they deem is suitable. They seldom come when you call –remember, they’re not your bitches. Even if you ask nicely, you can get complete crickets. They may have more important things to pay attention to. Like the entire universe.

Some landvaettir may also come into contact with you. While you might not consider them gods, per se, they are tutelary spirits who have powers. You may not find them as powerful as someone like Thor or Odin, but in many cases they may be able to help or harm you, depending on your relationship with them. That being said, I am firmly agnostic when it comes to landvaettir. I haven’t seen one, but I have had odd situations that maybe could suggest them.

The gods do occasionally mimic other gods in other pantheons. Odin and Loki, in particular, will shape change to whatever god you believe in to give you information, if you believe in another deity and not them. (Yes, I’ve had that happen.) Tyr will do that too for those who he wants to be his followers. (Again, that’s my experience and your mileage may vary.) Depending on the person, they may do this in order to give you information you need and if you’re only open to Jesus or Yahweh, then that’s where they go.

Is it an Ancestor?

You could be contacted through an ancestor. It’s not all that unusual. If it is an ancestor who has benevolent intentions, you should definitely get a name or an understanding of who or what they are. They shouldn’t be passing themselves off as a god. If they are, I wouldn’t want to deal with them simply because of the dishonesty.

Ancestors are pretty much what they were when they were alive. If they were a son-of-a-bitch when they were alive, they’re still a son-of-a-bitch–maybe more so, because they’re cranky they’re dead. Some ancestors you don’t want to deal with; others are just fine. Regardless, it should be pretty damn obvious if Uncle Milton makes a call. He shouldn’t be saying he’s Loki or Odin or whomever–if he is, tell him to go the Hel away.

My Own Experience with Ancestors

I’ve spoken to my closest ancestors and have had feelings and intentions from them. I’ve also had dreams with an ancestor in them, usually in the form of talking with them about certain things. Not all dealings with those ancestors have been pleasant; I’ve annoyed them the same way I did back when they were alive. They were in shock when they went to Helheim instead of the Christian heaven or hell. (Despite them being devout Catholics and not pagans.) This along with other bits of knowledge has led me to conclude that the Christian beliefs aren’t real and our beliefs are more in line with reality. Call it UPG or whatever, but I’m convinced that if there was a Jesus and if there is a Yahweh, it is a deceptive god.

Are ancestors more receptive than gods? In most cases, yes, but you should be careful with them until you get to know who exactly is knocking on the door. Some ancestors you definitely don’t want.

So, the gods do talk to humans. The landvaettir talk to humans. The ancestors talk to humans. They’re a rather chatty bunch — the lot of them. It’s just up to you to listen.

Walking a Razor’s Edge: Folkish Beliefs

September 28, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 2 comments

A fan of mine and supposedly long time reader took umbrage on my statements about folkish beliefs in Heathenry. Never mind that I’ve been stating what I have been stating as long as I’ve had this blog, which puts me in direct opposition of folkish beliefs. Why? Because scientifically, archaeologically, anthropologically, and historically, none of the folkish beliefs have any basis in fact. Unless you count the past 100 years as a reason to be folkish, i.e. Nazi beliefs, there is no record of exclusion from Heathenry.

Anyway, the fan deleted our conversation, left in a huff, and unliked my page (There! That showed me!), giving me plenty to think about why folkish beliefs are a bad idea. So, without further ado, let’s get talking about what folkism is, why it’s racist, and ultimately in league with white supremacists.

What Folkish Beliefs Are

Let’s talk about the root of folkish beliefs. People who believe in folkish beliefs hold that Heathenry is only for those who are of Northern European descent. That our gods can only be worshiped by those whose ancestors lived in the Northern European lands. That our gods do not call to those who are not from those lands.

In other words, they do not believe in a multicultural religion. They believe that people should worship the gods of their ancestors, whichever those are.

Now, let’s talk about the fallacy of their arguments.

First, Some Evolutionary Facts

Let’s look at the human race, that is Homo sapiens. Our race came out of Africa at least 200,000 years ago, according to scientists, although latest findings suggest that our species came from there before that. I don’t want to quibble over time frame. The point is that we all came from a small group of humans. Those who eventually made their way up north eventually became Norse.

It’s not like humans beamed in there. It took a fair amount of time, walking, and generations of living in one place for a while before pushing on. We know that many of them were most likely black (even though there isn’t a specific gene for being black) due to the genetic material that we have found. Our species is black in Africa to provide some protection against the sun’s rays. As humans moved up north, our skin lightened to adjust to the lack of sunlight so that our bodies could make Vitamin D.

Genetics also shows that humans, as a species, nearly went extinct at least twice. We’re inbred apes, pure and simple, because of bullshit patriarchy and polygamy as well as sticking with kindreds. Yeah, I get that kindreds were needed back then to survive, but our genetic diversity as a species is sorely lacking because of it.

Racism as We Know it Today Was Nonexistent

Racism–that is, judging people on their physical appearance and skin color–was virtually nonexistent in Viking and Early Medieval times . People were judged according to their belief system and their allegiances, not their skin color. We know this because Marco Polo seldom mentioned skin color unless it added something to the story. Race was considered as religion. You were considered a different “race” if you were Heathen, Jewish, Christian, or some other religion. That gave people the excuse for barbaric acts (like they seldom needed an excuse?).

Not All Vikings Were White

We know that there was at least one “black” Viking, and yes, there are people who have Mongolian genetics in Iceland from him. We know that our Viking ancestors explored, traded, raided, raped, and pillaged all the way south to Africa, east well into Asia, north to Greenland, and west to North America. They found wives and husbands among indigenous folk and settled in those lands.

Some of our northern ancestors added the gods and religions to our pagan practices. Some fully adopted the other religions. We have Viking hoards with Buddha statues and other religious objects.

Heathen Religion in the Grand Scheme of Things

Now, given the facts I’ve presented (and if you have the doubts as to the veracity of my statements, I back them up in the links provided above), Heathens were pretty willing to take in others who swore allegiance to their leaders and their gods. It made a kindred stronger.

Our northern ancestors practiced a religion that came from an offshoot of a Proto Indo-European religion. That evolved from a much earlier Nostratic pantheon. The further back we go, the fewer religions we have. The fact that there are so many similarities in the Indo-European religions suggests that the ideas and gods came from a central source going back tens of thousands of years.

So, Let’s Talk Folkish

So, how does folkishness fit here? If you say it doesn’t, you get a star. Our northern ancestors didn’t differentiate where you came from. What they did care about was your religion and your loyalties. What was your kindred and whether you were a friend or foe. Given the overall dissemination of Nordic genes, we can assume that everyone had ancestors that lived in the overall Viking sphere of influence, including African tribes and Mongols. Even if this weren’t so, if someone who joined up with the Vikings, raided with them, and worshiped their gods, you can bet they would’ve had status in a kindred.

Segregation or Apartheid, Anyone?

If you take a chapter from history, what the folkish people are doing is the “separate but equal” bullshit that we saw in the United States in the form of segregation. Or the South African Apartheid. They’re saying, “Our religion is for white Europeans, but you have your own traditions. Go do those.” They shut out people just because of the random chance that they were born with different colored skin.

You are on the Razor’s Edge with this if You’re Folkish

Folkish people, you may not be Nazis, but you are so on a razor’s edge with this. What you are doing is racism, pure and simple. If a black person hears the call of Thor, shouldn’t he or she be allowed to practice Heathenry? If the answer is “no, because of their ethnicity” then yes, I am calling you a bigot. Why can’t a black person be a Heathen? Don’t give me that’s not their religion — they should stick to African religions. That is complete and utter bullshit. Separate is NOT equal. We know this from history. People fought hard to end segregation, and you’re dragging Heathenry down with your bigoted beliefs.

Furthermore, separate but equal is bullshit because we’re all the same race. We’re the same people with minor genetic variations. We are Homo sapiens, people. Most of us have a small amount of Neanderthal and Denisovian genes in our DNA, making us not even pure Homo sapiens but a mutt of different races. Hel, that makes Neanderthals more enlightened than you.

Okay, I’ve railed enough on this. If you’re folkish, I hope I’ve enlightened you why you’re racist even if you think you’re not. If you are looking at anyone’s ethnicity and determining whether someone can do something based on it or not, you are a fucking racist. Period.

5 Reasons Why Heathens Don’t Get No Respect

June 10, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

I was reading the pagan forums on Patheos the other day and I thought about how Heathens are underrepresented there when it comes to pagans. And then I started thinking about how much of paganism is really geared toward the Wicca crowd and maybe the Celtic crowd, if they’re lucky. So, I started thinking about why Heathens (to paraphrase what Rodney Dangerfield used to say) don’t get no respect. To this end, I’ve come up with five reasons why Heathenry isn’t represented in paganism more often, but I bet you can come up with more, if you put your mind to it.

Problem 1: We’re Tiny, Relatively Speaking

If you want to talk about a religion that has few numbers, Heathenism and Asatru are pretty small as a world religion. Sure, there are a few census that suggest we have maybe 100,000 to 200,000 Heathens in the world, but seriously, that’s just a drop in the bucket. Consider the 800 pound gorilla in the midst (pun intended) of Wicca. Wiccans may make up about 2 million in the United States alone, and who knows how many in the world? It’s easy to see just by that number why Heathenry is a footnote when it comes to paganism.

Problem 2: Association with Neo-Nazis, White Supremacists, and Folkish Organizations

Many Heathens aren’t racist, folkish, or white supremacist. But not all of them. One only has to take a look at the Neo-Nazis and the Odinists who support a whites-only mentality. Other groups such as the AFA have excluded other ethnicities and the LGBT communities within their Heathen form of paganism. Even though a number of very good Heathens and leaders within the Heathen community have denounced this behavior, we see time and time again Internet and news stories featuring Heathens as bigoted, racist, and anti-LGBT.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Just because you don’t count those folk as “true Heathens” doesn’t mean that the rest of the world shares your opinions. You can say “not my kindred” all you want, but the reality is the rest of the world is judging you. Plain and simple. If you don’t denounce them, everyone is going to take your silence as tacit agreement.

Heathenry isn’t for bigots. Even our gods didn’t stay within their own kind when it came to their kindred. Our gods took in Jotunn, Vanir, Light Elves, and humans. Many gods had Jotunn, Vanir, and Light Elf consorts and lovers. Hel, even Loki mated with a horse.

Problem 3: Our Magic is Minimal

When Thor and Tyr called me to Heathenry, I was relieved to find out that magic played a minimal role in the religion. That being said, a lot of people are more attracted to magic than I am, which is presumably why people are more attracted to Wicca than Heathenry. Oh sure, we have the runes and Seidr, but what else? Maybe skinriding? We don’t usually do magic in the form of spells or enchantments.

Our magic is through our gods, ancestors, and wights. (The fact that I’ve never seen a wight is irrelevant.) Many Heathens believe in the gifting cycle with gods and wights to obtain what they want. Some use Seidr, runes, or other forms of Norse magic. Others will blend in forms of magic from Wicca. Reconstructionists and others derisively call those who add more magic from other religions “Wiccatru.” More on that later.

So, people who are looking for magic tend to bypass Heathenry and go for something like Wicca that enables them to worship our gods while still adding magic spells. Hmm.

Problem 4: We’re a Stuck Up, Exclusive Lot

When a person first looks into Heathenry, they’re often met with people who are quick to deride and denounce that person if they don’t immediately join the recon trolls. In fact, you’ll find a bunch of misogynists and Asa-popes telling people how to practice Heathenry. When the person balks (as they rightfully should), the trolls start calling them Marvel fanboys (or fangirls), Wicctrus, or Lokeans (never mind that being a Lokean is a choice and not an insult). So, a lot of people with less commitment are going to leave and go elsewhere.

It stunned me when Tyr and Thor contacted me. But I knew what I had experienced and even when I entered the ugly world of the Internet recon trolls, I knew I was right to stay and deal with them. You see, the gods contacted me and (presumably) not the Internet trolls, so the trolls didn’t deter me. I just had to figure out a softer landing spot, which I eventually did. And I started writing The Rational Heathen just to put down my thoughts and feelings, not to mention some of my experiences. Apparently it resonated with some of you because you’re still here with me.

Problem 5: We Don’t Agree on Much and UPG is often an Ugly Word

A big problem in Heathenry is the overall ambiguity of our beliefs. We really don’t have a lot of stories to go on — not like the stories we have from the Romans and Greeks about their gods and goddesses. Islamic and Roman historians as well as Christianized northern peoples who lived two hundred years later wrote down all of our stories. We only have one depiction — and a Christian one — of the Irminsul. We have tales which refer to other stories which were never written down.

So, in light of the lack of evidence, there’s a lot of conjecture. And with conjecture is also Unverified Personal Gnosis or UPG which many people don’t take into account. Some Heathens are outright hostile to UPG as well. So, there is no consensus on what is correct and what isn’t, except among the different factions between themselves. That division and the accompanying hostility turns people away quickly.

So, there you have it: the five reasons why Heathens don’t get no respect. Do you have some thoughts about why Heathens don’t get no respect? I’d love to hear it in the comments.

Arch Heathens and Arch Villains: Why Arch Heathens Make No Sense

May 16, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Once again, I’ve stumbled onto some really big bullshit about arch heathens, so I think it is time to make my opinions known on the subject. Arch heathens, if you get the current vernacular, were an impressive, idealized version of the Heathen. Sort of an uber Heathen, as it were. These purported arch heathens kept the faith pure and knew some sort of unwritten code of conduct across the ancient world that spanned from Greenland to Russia and south into Africa, and across several thousands of years ago, ending with the conversion to Christianity. They were of one mindset and kept the faith pure. (Ein volk! Ein reich! Ein führer!) <– That was sarcasm for those who don’t recognize it.

Did you just feel the urge to goosestep in your mom’s basement? If not, then can you already see the flaws in the argument? If you can’t or won’t, then read on, MacDuff!

What Heathenry Really Was

Before I talk about the fatal flaw in the arch heathen concept, I need to address Heathenry, in general. Heathenry was born out of Proto-Indo-European Polytheism. So, for argument sake, we can probably look at that form of polytheism being a proto form of Heathenry. So, that would show up sometime around 3500 BCE. For those not awesome at math, that’s more than 5500 years ago. Germanic Heathenry appeared on the scene around 1700 BCE with related religions appearing around 300 years earlier. Norse religions showed up maybe around 200 CE (AD).

So, when we look at Heathenry, we’re looking at a time period of about 4500 years. Even if we go with German Heathenry at 1700 BCE, that still gives Heathenry a healthy 2700 years. When dealing with people whose lifespans were 40 years, if they were lucky, we’re looking at 20-year generations and turnover. Assuming a 20-year generation, i.e., the time it takes to propagate and develop a new generation, we’re looking at either 135 generations or 175 generations of Heathens in total.

The Fatal Flaw in the Arch Heathen Concept

Now that we’re established the timeline for Heathenry, let’s talk about the concept of the arch heathen. The arch heathen is the prototype Heathen. He makes and knows the rules. He’s the guy all many of the reconstructionists venerate and hold up for all to see. Okaaay. Which arch heathen are we talking about exactly? Are we talking about the guy who was in Germany at 1700 BCE? Are we talking about the guy back in 3500 BCE wherever the Hel he was? Or are we talking about the Viking arch heathens? And which Vikings? Are we talking Iceland or Russia? Maybe Sicily? Or France? How about North Africa?

And where, pray tell, is someone in ancient manuscripts pointing to a particular person and saying he or she is an arch heathen? You can’t. Because the concept and idea is made up. The argument for an arch heathen has absolutely no supporting evidence. Sure, there were gythias and gothis, but one over-arching mode of behavior and belief? Nope, nope, nope. We can’t even prove archaeologically that the Temple of Uppsala existed. All we have is Adam of Bremen and Snorri’s documentation about it. So, Uppsala may have been a Heathen Vatican, but chances are it wasn’t. Too many Heathens in too many places.

No matter which group of Heathens you point to, you’re going to have variation in culture, thought, understanding, and yes, religion. One group is going to value Freyr over Odin; another group is going to value Odin over Thor. And so on. It is bound to happen, because people are different. Very different. Saying that because you see arch heathen-like behavior in Germany means that there were arch heathens like that everywhere is absurd. That person was there at that time in that place. We don’t know if they were common before or after. All we have are writings of certain non heathens and works that were written down by Christians 200 years after the conversion to Christianity.

What Timeline are we Talking About?

So, we’ve established that our Heathen ancestors worshiped our gods or forms of our gods for 2700 to 4500 years and have worshiped our gods across the ancient world. We know that religions change all the time, even in the past. All we have to do is look at other forms of religion and see that this is so. Christianity is an excellent example. We can look at the 2000 years Christianity has been in existence and we see plenty of differences, even if we only look at the Catholic Church. Originally Christianity was a conglomeration of ideas that came from Judaism, Zoroastrianism, Gnosticism, Mithracism, and other religions. Eventually, the Council of Nicaea got everyone on the same page, but there were future schisms. The Catholic Church split into Eastern Orthodox and Western Roman Catholicism. And that’s not even talking about the Protestant Reformation.

Okay, so you’re talking about a particular timeline, maybe, a few hundred years? Really? How much information do you have from that period? And why do your so-called arch heathens rate above any other Heathens at any particular time?

A Lot Changes in 200 Years

Maybe the recons are only looking at 200 years. Which 200 is anyone’s guess. And we don’t have pinpoint accuracy with historical writings or archaeology. A lot goes on in 200 years in cultures. Don’t believe me? Look back 200 years in our recent past. In 1818, we had no car, no electricity, and the United States had only 20 states. Too modern? Okay, let’s compare 1818 with 1618. Jamestown was founded in 1607 and by 1618 there were a handful of new settlements. People still believed in persecuting witches then. Ships were pretty much wind driven. The Mauritius sailed in 1618. In 1818, we were working on the cusp of the Industrial Revolution with steam engines and steamboats. In 1810, England had its first primitive railroad. By 1827, we had the first railroad in the United States. The 30 years war started in 1618 started by the Jesuits against the Protestants. By 1818, the United States had freedom of religion in place in the Constitution.

Heathenry was Influenced by Other Religions

I’ve talked a lot about how Heathenry had been influenced by other cultures and religions. Our ancestors traveled — a lot! They had boats, they had horses, and yes, they had their own two feet. Heathens traveled east into Russia, south into Africa, and west into North America. They saw many different cultures and peoples — and they didn’t kill or conquer all of them. Many they traded with. We have found religious symbols from other cultures (such as the Buddha!) in gold hordes, and we know that Norsemen and Islam have had contact. Since Heathens were open to other forms of beliefs, even then, some aspects of other religions got adopted and incorporated as people from other cultures became assimilated into the Heathen culture.

Don’t believe me? Tell me why we have the Vanir then, when we already have the Aesir? Tell me why Tyr was the top god, only to be replaced by Odin? And why was the Christian god worshiped along with the Heathen gods for a time in Iceland? All these changes came about because of influences of other cultures and religions.

Arch Heathens or Archbishops?

The quest to follow these so-called arch heathens smacks of something very Christian, in my not so humble opinion. Recons are constantly throwing the arch heathen around like they were the only ones who had insight into our gods and the way to do things. We could argue that the arch heathen is the pagan archbishop. Don’t believe me? The Catholics use the archbishops along with the pope to create their church doctrine that they insist everyone who is Catholic must obey. The recons use the arch heathens to create Heathen doctrine that they insist everyone who is Heathen must obey. You see the difference? No? Neither can I.

Look, if I wanted to have a bunch of Asa-pope dilettantes order me around, I would’ve stayed in the Catholic Church. No doubt you have your opinions on this. Keep it civil and I’ll let you have your say.

Four Ways to Make Easter Not Suck

April 1, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

Easter has never been my favorite time, largely because it’s a Christian holiday that is pretty much a celebration of their death-cult god. Even when I was growing up, other than getting Easter baskets with lots of yummy chocolate, all I remember is having to get dressed up and go to church and afterwards a brunch that was maybe okay. (Never mind the fact that ham was the main dish, ahem…in honor of Freyr.)

Sure, we can quibble whether Eostre was really an Anglo-Saxon goddess or not, but it really doesn’t matter much if you’re a solitary Heathen among Christians. Sure, you can go through the motions and celebrate the season with family, but I’ve come up with some interesting ways to make Easter not suck.

Make Easter a Celebration to Freyr, Freyja, and Eostre

Okay, maybe Eostre existed in Anglo-Saxon lore, and maybe she didn’t. That’s okay. We know Freyr and Freyja exist and we can use Easter as a time to celebrate the gods and goddesses of spring. That means creating yummy meals, doing blots, and celebrating like it’s a time to celebrate — that is, the beginning of new life.

Have a roast pig dish, crack open a bottle of mead, and celebrate the spring. Got Christians in your family? Well, how would they know this is for our gods and not theirs?

This past Yule, I didn’t get my Christmas cookies made, so I figure now is as good of time as any to make roll out cookies. Luckily I have more than just Christmas shapes. In fact, one of my sisters gave me a Star Wars cookie cutter set, because nothing says Christmas like Star Wars. So, I figure Easter is as good as any for cookies that I can enjoy. (ETA: Munching on them right now.)

Go Have Fun While the Christians are in Church

Look, not everything in the United States shuts down on Easter (I can’t say that with certainty in other countries), so why not catch that movie you’ve wanted to see, go to the attractions that are normally mobbed other times of the year, or plan doing something that is just plain fun while the Christians are getting the megadose of guilt in church? Look, just because they’re insistent on getting all formal to impress other people in church doesn’t mean we have to sit around and mope. Celebrate Easter with a favorite movie, meal, or go outdoors and enjoy nature.

Or do what we do, and go rabbit hunting. “Hey, it’s the Easter bunny!” Blam!

Sleep In

It’s Sunday, and unless you have to work on Easter, just sleep in and relax. Nobody is telling you to get up for the crack of dawn sunrise service. Look, you’ll probably be doing that on Winter Solstice and Summer Solstice, so why bother for a day that has no meaning to you?

Do Some Eostre Egg Dyeing and Hiding

If you feel the need to enjoy the holiday, why not hard boil some eggs and use natural dyes to color them? Here are recipes which teach you how to make natural colored dyes easily. If you do put on an Eostre egg hunt, be sure to count the number of eggs you hid. otherwise a few days later you’ll find the egg with your nose.

I am certain there are other things you can do to make Easter more enjoyable. Let me know what you do.

Five Reasons Why Heathens Should Not Own Goats

March 29, 2018 The Rational Heathen Comments 0 Comment

After another exhausting day of handling baby goats, I’ve decided that any Heathen who gets goats isn’t right in the head (including myself). For this reason, I submit the Five Reasons Why Heathens Should Not Own Goats. Ready? Let’s begin… [Read More of this Premium Content, and Unlock All My Premium Content, for Just $1]